Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Develop a positive attitude
• Method 2 of 3: Develop an attitude of gratitude
• Method 3 of 3: Form new habits
• Tips
• Warnings

A negative attitude can have serious consequences for your health, your relationships and your feelings of satisfaction in life. You can change your attitude by being attentive and aware. Developing a positive attitude, practicing gratitude, and learning new habits that make you more positive is a lifelong process that can result in a change of attitude.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Develop a positive attitude

1. Get rid of negativity in your life. If there are people, things, or situations in your life that are causing you constant stress, you may need to let them go. A change in your attitude is dependent on starting a new way of life. That means you may have to stop drinking, taking drugs, eating too much or smoking. Whatever the negative things in your life are, you will have to get rid of them if you want to get a better attitude.
   • Consider joining a support group with people who want to improve their lives just like you.
   • If you start making these changes, chances are you will find more positive patterns replacing them. Life is never all bad, and by letting go of those things that are of no use to you, you become more aware of the habits you want to reinforce.
2. Make sure your relationship is healthy. If you have an intimate relationship with someone, it will certainly affect your attitude. A healthy relationship should be positive, so that you feel better about yourself. If you feel pressured to do things you don't want, fear the consequences of disagreeing with your partner, or yelling or hitting during arguments, your relationship may not be healthy. That will negatively affect your attitude.
   • It's normal that you don't always agree in a relationship. Most relationships have a combination of healthy and unhealthy characteristics.
   • Talk to a therapist if you find that you and your partner are unable to resolve these unhealthy patterns on your own.
   • If you are trapped in an abusive relationship, or are being emotionally or physically abused, seek help. Take a look at this website, or call Veilig Thuis on 0800-2000.
3. Seek the positive. There is something to be found in every situation that is commendable. For example, if it rains, you can complain that you get wet, or you can determine that the plants and trees could use some water. Someone with a negative attitude often perceives the negative in every situation, but in order to develop a positive attitude, you have to force yourself to see something good in it. Share your positive observations with others, and keep the negative comments to yourself.
   • Make sure you also try to see the positive sides in yourself.
   • Remember that everything offers opportunities to learn something new, especially the things that seem difficult at first. So you can at least be grateful for the opportunity to learn something new from an unpleasant situation.
   • Don't get stuck in a situation just because it's bad. It can be tempting to pretend that unhealthy behavior - a racist boss, an abusive partner, an emotionally manipulative friend - is a great opportunity for you to practice patience and tolerance. While that's true, staying is not always the best choice. One of the positive things you can learn from a bad situation is getting out of it.
4. Be nice to others. One of the fastest ways to feel better is to be nice to others. Whether that means giving someone right of way in traffic, or sending a friend a card to cheer them up, helping someone else makes you more positive.
   • For best results, find ways to do things for others that require you to be completely anonymous. For example, if no one is looking, put a coin in all the washing machines in the laundry.
   • Don't just think about how you would like to be treated; imagine how the other would like to be treated. If someone is very shy, it might be nicer to give them a card to congratulate them on a successful project than to hug them in public and compliment them loudly.

Method 2 of 3: Develop an attitude of gratitude

1. Write a "gratitude list" daily. Every day there are things to be grateful for, but some days you have to think about it a little longer than other days. To find something to be thankful for even during the toughest days, you can practice daily with a list.
   • Research shows that handwriting a gratitude list is a valuable part of this process. The physical act of handwriting forces you to focus more on it, giving it more meaning.
   • If you really can't think of anything to be thankful for, pretend. Know that you have yet to learn to change your attitude. Think of gratitude as "things can always get worse."
2. Send notes to thank people. Learning to say "thank you" is an essential element in changing your attitude and living a more positive life. Whether you're expressing gratitude for something that was just done or something that happened years ago, write it down and share it with the other person. Maybe you want to let your 5th grade teacher know that because of her encouragement you now have a successful blog, or you want to tell your friend how much you appreciate being there for you all the time.
   • If you just want to write the note but not send it, that's fine too. The purpose of a thank you note is to practice expressing your appreciation. It may not always be possible to track down the people from your past, or the person may already have passed away.
   • Research has shown that people who spent at least 15 minutes a week writing thank-you notes had a much more positive attitude after 8 weeks.
3. Practice meditation or prayer. Meditating or praying makes you aware of the present moment, which is essential for developing a positive attitude. Try to meditate or pray at regular times every day. It doesn't have to be long; just three to five minutes at a time will change your attitude.
   • If you are religious, you can turn to prayers that belong to your religion. If you are not religious, meditation may be more valuable.
   • Even if you don't feel like it, meditating or praying is a kind of exercise. The more you practice, the better you get at it. You may not notice much of a difference at first, but after a while you will have a calmer, more peaceful disposition no matter what is going on around you.
4. Set up a "gratitude jar". Place a jar in a central place in your home, and write something down every day for which you are grateful that day. Watch the jar fill with good things. If you ever need a "pick-me-up", grab the jar and read a few examples aloud.
   • Another kind of gratitude jar is if, every time you write something on your gratitude list, you put some change in the jar. When the jar is full, use the money to do something for others. Buy a gift for someone who needs it or a bouquet of flowers for someone who rarely gets recognition.
   • If you are creative, you can decorate your gratitude jar nicely with ribbon, paint or stickers.
5. Stop complaining. Rather, try to see the positive aspects of your life. Consciously pay more attention to the positive things you notice, so that good things also become good experiences.
   • Pay attention to when you tend to complain, and try to focus your attention on something positive.
   • When you complain, you focus on what you would rather have without actually doing anything to change it. It puts you in a powerless position.
6. Take control of your own thoughts and actions. If you think that you are powerless and that you cannot change your own circumstances and relationships, you will find it difficult to improve your attitude. Rather, try to see what your share is in how the situation or relationship is now. When you see what your share is, you can choose to accept it or change it.
   • If you have a better understanding of why you made certain choices, you can avoid making the same wrong decisions in the future.
   • Remember that while most negative circumstances are the result of conscious choices on your part, sometimes unpleasant things also happen, despite careful planning. No one is immune from being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
   • If you can't think of another way to think about an unpleasant situation, ask for help. Talk to a therapist, friend, or other person you trust. You don't have to do it alone.

Method 3 of 3: Form new habits

1. Get up earlier. Getting up early in the morning gives you more time to think about yourself, your goals, and your intention to change your attitude. You can spend the time in meditation or read your favorite book. Setting aside time each day to think about your day makes it easier to change your attitude.
   • If you find it easier to take some time for yourself at the end of the day, you can do that too. But most (not all) people find it more productive to do this early in the morning.
   • Don't allow yourself to waste your time in the morning with negative pitfalls such as reading depressing news or social media.
2. Spend your time with positive people. If there are people in your life who make you feel run down, unproductive, and depressed, you should spend less time with them if you want to develop a new attitude.Also, avoid depressing news and take the time to read positive messages. Put yourself on a "positivity diet," and try to minimize negativity during the day.
   • That doesn't mean you should abandon a friend who's struggling right now, but if your friend's life is always full of drama and misery, you may need to step back.
   • If it's inevitable to avoid negative people (if it's your boss, for example), you should try to use their negativity. Try to understand where it comes from and counter positivity.
3. Pay attention to what makes you happy. That sounds easy, but it may not be something you are used to paying attention to. Make a list of things you do every day (or almost every day), then make a list of things that make you happy. Compare the lists and see what you can do to bring more joy into your life.
   • Think about what adjustments you can make to your daily routine so that you can do more that makes you happy.
   • Take breaks several times a day to check how happy you are. When you feel happy, think about the circumstances that caused this feeling.
4. Try to react consciously and not impulsively. When you are in a stressful situation, think, use your mind to find a solution, and do what is reasonable. If you react impulsively, you skip the reasoning stage and respond to autopilot. This usually only leads to more problems and frustrations.
   • If you're in a new, stressful situation, pause and take a deep breath before doing or saying anything.
   • If possible, take time to think before answering. Say, "I have to think about it for a moment."
5. Don't worry about the past or the future. If you want to develop a new attitude, you have to focus on the present moment. If you find yourself worrying about the future or worrying about the past, bring your attention back to the present.
   • You can use a particular word or phrase to bring your attention back to the present, such as "here and now", "present" or "back".
   • Don't get mad at yourself if you lose concentration. Remember that kindness is essential if you want to develop a positive attitude.
6. Focus on one thing at a time. Research shows that dividing your attention leads to more stress and reduced concentration. By gaining more control over your attention, you feel better and more positive.
   • Don't open too many tabs in your browser, and turn off your phone while watching TV. Turn off the news when you do the dishes. Do one thing at a time and do it well and your attitude will become more positive.
   • If you do need to multitask, set aside time specifically for that. When that time is up, you only do one thing at a time.
   • If you are talking to a friend, turn off your phone.
   • Slow down your attention so that you are more attentive with each activity.

Tips

• If you find it difficult to change your setting, don't worry. This is a long process and it will not work right away. Be patient with yourself as you try to change.

Warnings

• If you show signs of clinical depression or an anxiety disorder, you may need professional help to change your attitude. Make an appointment with your doctor.