Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Taking the time to cool down
• Part 2 of 3: Prepare your apologies
• Part 3 of 3: Making up
• Warnings

Arguing with a friend leaves you with a terrible feeling. You may feel frustrated and angry with the other person or just want to make it up to you as soon as possible. While it may feel like things will never be the way they used to again, you may be able to mend the friendship by approaching your friend and listening to what he or she has to say.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Taking the time to cool down

1. Give each other space before it goes too far. When things get hot, it's easy to say something you don't mean.If you feel like you can't control your emotions - or your friend can't control theirs - say you want to continue talking later and then leave.
   • Even if your friend says something that hurts your feelings, don't try to get yourself back into the argument. Tell yourself the other person is just lashing out at you and letting go.
2. Take several deep breaths to relax. The first thing to do after an argument is to calm down. It can be hard to calm down when you're angry, but staying angry isn't good for you and will keep you from reconciling with people.
   • Slowly breathe in through your nose, then out through your mouth. Repeat this several times, focusing on becoming more and more calm with each breath.
   • Other things to help calm you down include a gentle walk, gentle meditation, or eating an ice cream straight from the package. Whatever it is, take a moment to clear your mind.
3. Accept the role you played in the discussion. Quarrels almost never come from one side. Think about what your contribution to the fight has been. Try to imagine the argument from the other person's perspective in order to shed new light on the things you have said.
   • Have you been stressed or irritated lately? This may have played a role in your behavior.
   • Was your boyfriend or girlfriend trying to tell you something that you pushed aside? You may have hurt his or her feelings, which led to the fight.
4. Try to see an argument from the other person's perspective. It can be very difficult to step back and see things from someone else's point of view, but being able to empathize with someone will show that you really care about the other person, and not just about you own feelings.

Part 2 of 3: Prepare your apologies

1. Keep your feelings to yourself. Don't gossip about your friend or the cause of the fight, and certainly don't post about it on social media. This only adds more drama to the situation, and can make it all a lot worse than the original fight.
   • Even if you share your feelings with another close friend, the person you're arguing with can hear about it.
2. Try to make amends within a few days of the fight. Leaving an argument in the air can cause resentment. You want to give your friend enough time to cool down, but try to resolve the argument as soon as possible.
   • The amount of time this will take is different for everyone. Some friends will make up after five minutes of arguing, while others will take months to recover from hurtful words.
3. Wait until you are ready to apologize. If you are too hasty with your apologies because you are tired of the argument, you will likely notice that you are not being sincere.
   • You know you're willing to apologize if you stop feeling angry or if you care more about getting your friend back than the hurtful things he or she said or did.
4. Don't apologize just because you want your boyfriend or girlfriend to say they're sorry. The other person may not be ready to apologize. You have to say that you are sorry because you are sorry that you hurt him or her. So instead, try to start the conversation without expecting anything from your friend.
   • Even if your friend isn't ready to apologize too, you should apologize when you're ready. Just ask him or her to listen and explain what you regret.
5. Schedule a time to talk. A face-to-face meeting will help you reconnect, and it will be easier for the other person to see that your apology is genuine. Call or text your friend and let him or her know you want to talk in person. Ask if the time and place you have in mind will work for him or her. If not, see if you can find something that's right for both of you.
   • Try to start the conversation by saying something like, "I miss talking to you after class" or "I really feel bad about the things I've said and I want to apologize personally."
   • If your friend isn't ready to talk, give him or her a little more time. You could also send a handwritten apology note inviting you to meet up and talk more in person.

Part 3 of 3: Making up

1. Bid sincerely and specifically you apologize. Don't just offer an unctuous "I'm sorry." Think carefully about what you really apologize for, and be specific when you say you're sorry.
   • If you know you hurt your friend's feelings, apologize for what you said. Say something like, "I'm really sorry I called you stupid. I respect you much more than that and my words were thoughtless and mean. "
   • You could say, "I'm sorry I waited so long to call you after the fight," if you really don't think the fight was your fault.
2. Allow the other person to tell his or her side of the story. After you apologize, let your friend talk. Listen carefully to what he or she has to say and try not to feel attacked if you hear what your friend thinks about the argument. Maybe you did something that hurt or upset the other person without realizing it.
3. Share your thoughts on the argument. You can talk about what happened, but don't use this as an excuse to start the fight again. Focus on using "I" statements that focus on your view of the matter, rather than "you" statements that focus on the other person's guilt.
   • You can say something like, `` I already felt stressed that day and I lost my temper, and I shouldn't have done that '' or `` I felt really frustrated when you didn't listen to me, but I shouldn't have been so harsh . '
   • Don't make excuses for your behavior. It's good to explain how you feel, but take responsibility for your words and actions.
4. If they are sorry, accept the other person's apology. Often times, once you apologize, your friend will do the same. If so, let him or her know that you accept the apology and that you would like everything to be back to normal.
   • If the other person doesn't apologize, ask yourself if it's more important to get an apology than to have the friendship back.
5. Give your friend more time if he or she is still angry. He or she may not be ready to forgive you or even end the fight. Respect your friend's emotions, but don't get caught up in another argument.
   • If your friend is still angry, ask what you can do to make it better. If you get an answer, try to do it. If the other person does not want to say anything, more time may be needed, or he / she may want to end the friendship.
   • Try to be patient while your friend is recovering from the fight. He or she may need more time than you, and that's okay.
6. Close the positive. Whether you and your friend have repaired the friendship or the other person is still upset, try to end the conversation on a positive note.
   • When you've made up, say goodbye with a big hug and make plans to get back together soon.
   • If the person is still upset, end the conversation by saying something like, "I still love you and I'm always ready to talk if you want to."

Warnings

• If you find yourself having to apologize to someone over and over again, or if they have a habit of putting you down or trying to make you feel bad about yourself, then you need to make sure it's a healthy friendship.