Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 1: Talking to her for the first time
• Tips
• Warnings

Maybe you saw a nice girl walking, and then dreamed that you walked up to her to start a conversation with her. However, approaching someone for the first time is nerve-wracking in most cases, add the person you have a crush on, and you may mess up the uncomfortable situation. Sometimes the result is well worth the risk.

To step

Method 1 of 1: Talking to her for the first time

1. Make eye contact. Take a few days to make occasional eye contact with her. However, you should not stare at her. Instead, try to glance in her direction every now and then until you make eye contact for a moment. When you make eye contact, smile for a moment and then look the other way. You too are likely to blush, and that's all the better. Blushing indicates that you are nervous and this is a hint to her that you like her.
2. Get the timing right. If you decide to speak to her, get the timing right. Don't try to get her attention when she's obviously doing other things, and try to have some privacy. However, you don't have to be all alone, but she shouldn't be distracted when you have her attention.
   • Make the conversation extra relaxed (and set a time limit) by talking to her while you're walking somewhere together. If you're walking to the next class with her, or if you're walking home in the same direction, this is a good start.
3. Start by making a compliment. By giving a compliment you immediately make your intentions clear to the girl. She will immediately realize that you want to be more than just a friend.Here are some things to consider:
   • Know the best way to compliment. Even the best compliment in the world will not have the desired effect if it is not given in the right way. Keep a half smile while talking to her, this will naturally add something appealing to your voice. (Try this trick when you pick up the phone and see if you notice a difference.) Maintain eye contact with her, and keep your pitch slightly high, but speak at a lower volume. Speaking in a soft voice communicates intimacy, and she may instinctively lean in your direction. If this sounds a bit complicated, you could practice in front of the mirror first.
   • As anyone who's ever had a stalker can attest, there is a fine but clear line between flattering and scary. Choose your compliment wisely with this in mind. Saying something like, "You always look good in that shirt" can seem strange if you don't know her well, and may make her feel like you're watching her. (Even if you do, you better not share this information with her right away.) Go for a slightly more general but sweet compliment, so something like, “You're smiling so sweet today. What makes you so happy? ” or "I found your comment during class very interesting." Rather than being a clincher who falls for nothing, a good compliment should naturally lead to more conversation.
   • Know what to avoid. If you want to compliment a girl on her appearance, stick it to her eyes, smile, or hair. Do not make any further comments about her body, especially during your first interview.
   • If you want to play it safe, compliment something she's proud of. For example, if she's a promising violinist, you could say something along the lines of, “I heard you are a promising musician,” and then use this compliment to ask her questions about the subject.
4. Try to keep the conversation going. You may have a tendency to stop talking and then just stare at the girl, but try to control your nerves. Letting go of a long silence during the conversation will make the situation uncomfortable.
5. Make sure you have a few extra questions to ask at times when there is an awkward silence.
   • Ask what she thinks about homework assignments to be done with someone else or her opinion about a particular event. When you ask for her opinion, you give her the idea that you are genuinely interested in her opinion on certain matters and that you don't see her as an object.
   • Use the conversation to get to know her better, but be subtle. For example, if you want to find out if she already has a boyfriend, at some point you might ask the following question: "Are you going to do something fun with your boyfriend this weekend?" If she doesn't have a boyfriend and is interested in you, she will let you know right away.
   • Ask open questions. Instead of saying, "Do you have any plans for the weekend?" (this question can be answered with a simple "yes" or "no"), you should ask something like, "What are you going to do after school if you don't have to do homework?" A question that requires a detailed answer is always better to keep the conversation going.
6. Make her laugh (optional). If you have a joke or joke up your sleeve and are sure she can laugh about it, tell it. The goal is to show her that you have a good sense of humor, but you don't want to appear desperate or corny.
   • If possible, you could try to joke about the current situation or something you both saw happening. Situational humor makes more sense than a joke you read online.
   • Don't tell dirty jokes. Dirty jokes are inappropriate during a first conversation, and it may give her the wrong impression.
   • If she doesn't get the joke, don't try to explain it unless she asks for an explanation. Quickly move on to another topic of conversation.
   • Good humor is very attractive, but bad humor is a huge turnoff. If you can't come up with a joke that fits the situation, then simply don't joke.
7. End the conversation early. Make the girl curious about more. Find a way to gracefully end the conversation before it grinds to a halt. Good luck!

Tips

• Don't start with a comment about her personal life. So don't say something like, "How are you and your boyfriend doing?" This will come across as intrusive and rude.
• To avoid appearing narcissistic, be confident, but don't overdo it with confidence.
• Don't talk to a girl while looking at her body all the time. You don't want to scare her.
• Girls like you to be the one starting the conversation - they may be nervous too. Just be yourself and don't be too arrogant, as that will be a huge turnoff.
• Always try to make a girl feel important and not like everyone else.
• Don't stare at her for a long time.
• You should be very subtle when you first approach a girl. If you are rude and unkind, you will completely screw it up for yourself.
• Always make the girl feel special and important, but don't go too far. When it clicks, it will seem like you are the only ones on Earth.
• Never tease her. Because if you do, she'll feel uncomfortable talking to her.
• Don't try to flirt with her when you're walking together for the first time. That could make her feel uncomfortable and the conversation could go downhill because of it.

Warnings

• Also keep in mind that every girl is different, so there is no specific set of steps you can follow to win every girl's heart. The reason she likes you is because she likes you just the way you are. So just try to be yourself, and don't pretend to be what you are.
• Do not run too fast with a quiet or shy girl, give her enough time and space.
• If you make the mistake of talking to her for the first time via email or chat, don't panic if she feels slightly overcome by this. She is just surprised that you have finally taken the step to speak to her and will be somewhat surprised that this has taken place online. Your chances have not yet been lost on this point. Just behave like you normally do and communicate with her in a normal way.
• If the girl is not interested and indicates this, leave her alone. Get on with your life so you don't come across as too pushy and to avoid unnecessary conflict.