Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Having the right attitude
• Part 2 of 3: Knowing yourself
• Part 3 of 3: Adding action to the word
• Tips
• Warnings

Many people feel that they are unique, when in fact they are just following a new trend. Of course, if uniqueness is a trend, no one is really unique. Why don't people just try to be themselves? And how do you actually do that? Read on to find out.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Having the right attitude

1. Know that you are already unique. The fact is that we humans are quite alike. Few of us are real outliers. We all eat, and we all experience the same spectrum of emotions. However, as individuals we are unique. None of us are exactly the same as anyone else. That's because we all have a combination of experiences, personality, and perspective that no one else has or ever will have. If you really want to be unique, congratulations are in order. Congratulations, you are already unique!
   • Serious. Even twins don't share the exact same experiences. And even if they did, their experiences would be filtered and interpreted differently in their minds — and that's the only place where reality really exists. Nobody has lived your life. No one will ever live your life. It is all the more important to live your own life and be yourself - because you are what is so unique. That's the concept we're going to explore in this article.
2. Don't aim for “normal” or “trendy”. People are naturally inclined to “want to belong”. Have you ever heard of Asch's matching experiments? These experiments involve putting an unsuspecting guy in a room full of participants who are involved in the plot. Then they show two stripes: the first is the size of your finger, and the second is the size of a ruler. Everyone is asked which stripe is longest, and everyone involved in the plot says, "Obviously the first." What do you think that unsuspecting guy does? He agrees! He knows it's wrong, but he still agrees with what the majority says. That is human nature.
   • This was a rather long-winded way of saying that you want to be just like everyone else, and that's fine. That's how we work. When we're like everyone else, we're safe. It's like going to a certain restaurant because that restaurant is popular - it must be good, right? Well, maybe, but maybe not. In any case, it is a lot easier to make decisions. In short, it's okay to go with the group, but you have to make sure it's the best decision.
3. Also, don't aim for “abnormal”. Pursuing any label, including uniqueness, makes no sense. That is essentially a selfish urge to be different, to be better. In addition, there are a billion other people who try to be abnormal. Instead of sealing your fate as that of a hipster (which started out as anti-mainstream, but has slowly but surely become the norm), you better aim for “yourself”. And exactly what that means doesn't matter - it's good and real.
   • Not pursuing labels is easier when you realize they don't even really exist. A trip abroad will prove this within three seconds of arrival. Visit another culture that is very different from yours, and see what they consider normal there. Or just think about it - now you can. Chances are that you can come up with a number of things that are considered “abnormal” in your society, but are completely acceptable in another culture.
4. Be self-assured. Novelty: This entire article is about making your own decisions, and making sure that your decisions are actually “your own”. To do that you have to be confident. That's the most important thing. If you hesitate about every step you take and keep seeking confirmation from other people or things, then you are not yourself. The only thing in this world that is unique is yourself. So be aware of that.
   • Telling someone to be confident is about as effective as asking someone to go up in smoke. It is a task that requires an awful lot of determination and time. After reading the article on wikiHow, ask your friends how they are doing. Ask them what they have done to boost their confidence. You will be amazed at how many people are still working on it.
5. Don't depend on anything. This is a tricky one. As humans (and especially today) we naturally thrive in groups. But whenever possible, try to see that you can live your life just fine without a lot of things. For starters, that means you shouldn't have addictions. Addictions detract from you, control your tendencies, control your emotions, etc. No thanks.
   • Simple steps include throwing out fashion magazines, not doing things because your friends want to, and forming your own opinions on hot topics instead of relying on the news or your friends. You can also take it a step further by making your own clothes and cooking your own food - but how far you go with it is all up to you.
6. Find out what “being unique” means to you. This is a fairly abstract concept with many facets. Take a moment to consider what it means to you. Do you want to dress differently from the rest? Do you want to dismiss the political ideals of your society? Do you want to cultivate a personality that is so dynamic that no one can get a hold of you? What?
   • Also try about it why thinking. If you want to be unique because someone told you to, then that doesn't bode well. It's about what you want. Why do you want to be unique? What makes you feel that you are not unique? By answering these questions first, you will be able to take a better, more efficient path.

Part 2 of 3: Knowing yourself

1. Find your values. Okay, since this article is about being yourself, we need to find out who exactly you are first. Do you actually know that yourself? Hopefully, because no one else knows! What do you value across the board? In friendships? In relationships? In products? In the culture?
   • Once you've come up with a list of about ten things, those are the things you should aim for. These are not labels; these are good qualities that are important to you. Whether it's fairness, justice or high-quality denim, it says something. It shows you the way to uniqueness.
2. Fight your insecurities. Another unfortunate aspect of being human is that at some point in our youth we become aware of the opinions of others. Someone makes fun of your Barbie and you throw her in the garbage right away. This is annoying and completely unnecessary, but unfortunately also unavoidable. We start to develop insecurities and they get the upper hand. We become afraid of people and their words. Consider how silly that sounds!
   • Our insecurities force us to play games. Instead of asking that one guy or girl if they like us, let's give hints, tease, or kick things around - and that's how we drive ourselves crazy! We fear what they might say. If we just asked, "Hey, do you like me?" Everything would be a lot easier. We'd probably be happier too, but most of us are too anxious for that. You can combat this tendency by saying what you want to say, by really meaning what you say, and by doing what you want to do.
   • If you want something next time not because someone else is there, do it anyway (but don't overdo it - don't go and dance naked in the Starbucks, for example). If someone else is holding you back, ask yourself why. Do you have a valid, rational reason for that? Or is it the insecurity that keeps you from being yourself?
3. Set your goals. Once you have mapped out your core values, it is time to do the same with your goals. What do you want to become? What do you want to do? How do you want to feel every day? And how do you plan to achieve those things?
   • You may think this is unnecessary. You may think, "What do my career goals really have to do with this?" Again, you try to map out who you are exactly. There isn't someone else in this world who looks like you, behaves like you, and wants to become a professional cake decorator in Australia just like you, living life as adventurously as possible.
   • Knowing what your goals are exactly is the first step you need to take to achieve them. It is the first step that gives you direction. Knowing your goals can help you identify who you are. That unique you. The you that is not a reflection of someone else, but one hundred percent yourself. Your real desires and needs; not the desires and needs that society imposes on you.
4. Be aware of your own emotions. "Your own" is the keyword here. Okay, two keywords. Don't be influenced by the emotions of others; if you dwell too long on the thoughts of others, you will not have enough time for your own. Most emotions are also contagious - how do you really feel?
   • Sometimes interacting with other people can cause us to become someone else.And that is sometimes good, but sometimes also bad. At some point, however, you have to get a signal that makes it clear that “this is not natural”. Does that ever happen to you? In what kind of environment do you not listen to your own emotions, but let yourself be guided by those of others? Map it out. Once you've done that, you can start doing something about it.
5. Have your own opinions, but also be open to suggestions. Don't say things just to say them. Instead, take a moment when you start a conversation. Think about what you know, and what you can relate to and where you cannot. Only then start talking. Listen to what others have to say without getting carried away, but also without dismissal of their ideas. An engaging debate can be fun, stimulate, and teach you a lot about your own values.
   • It is tempting to gossip or complain in order to bond with someone. If there's one thing we're all good at, it's those two things. However, consider the negativity for a moment. Do you want your for real feel like this? Or has someone turned it in such a way that you actually want to agree? Take in their opinion, but judge it from all sides. Some people can be quite glamorous - but are they really right, or are they just charming? Take a moment to form your own original opinion. If you want to adjust it, great! That means you are open-minded. Just know why you are changing your opinion!
6. Be able to think independently. Don't give in to peer pressure, whether imposed on you by your parents, your friends, or your teachers. Be skeptical and figure out ideas and options for yourself. As the television channel Syfy, George Carlin and countless other people put it so beautifully: “Question everything”. Whether it's your religion, your ideas about democracy or your opinion about Brussels sprouts (you might like them…), think about it. Which opinions have been imposed on you, and which opinions have you really thought about?
   • This can be pretty staggering. You may just disagree with your parents 'beliefs, your country's ideals, or your friends' musical tastes. Just know that it can be sobering when you find a seed in your brain that has been planted there by someone else (think of The Matrix, for example). Although challenging, this step will help you grow.

Part 3 of 3: Adding action to the word

1. Stop playing games. So we've talked about fighting your insecurities, and how those insecurities lead to games. Those games must stop! They are the direct result of people telling you how to behave, or instilling fears that keep you from engaging in your desired behavior. Instead, you should grab your list of values ​​and take a closer look. How would you behave if you embody all those values ​​in your actions?
   • By games we mean, if that was not yet clear, say or do one thing but mean the other. When you say, “Gosh, I'm so fat. I can't believe it, "you're actually saying," I feel fat. Please tell me it isn't. ” Some of these games are designed to demand attention, some are manipulative, some are for gathering information. Either way, they are not “you”. They therefore have no place in your uniqueness.
2. Dress for yourself. Don't dress to please others. If you follow fashion trends that you don't actually like, it will be more difficult to make valuable connections - you will be shrouded in a false shell. Instead, prefer to dress in a way that suits your personality and taste. Why would you do anything else at all?
   • Okay, to some extent, in-store shopping is also joining the trend. If the clothes were not sold, it would of course not hang on the shelves. But nowadays you have so many options that you can put together your own style. You don't have to dress like a hipster, you don't have to be eclectic - just dress the way you want.
   • Buy things that you like, that suit you, and above all that you need. If you want to be unique, you don't have to buy clothes for the label. If you do, you will look like everyone else, and your clothes will not reflect your personal style - your clothes will not be able to show others who and what you are.
3. Stand up for yourself. When the time has come for an opinion (and those moments often occur), you need to stand up for yourself to showcase your individuality. How can you be unique if you don't stand for anything? As Katy Perry so eloquently put it, “I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything”.
   • Don't let the cheese eat off your bread if people dispute your opinions. Ask them for their rationale, why they disagree with you - are they rational? If so, take a moment to think about it. Chances are they are right. Standing up for yourself doesn't mean you can't be open-minded! Be on your toes, but analyze the situation if there is a disagreement. Maybe there is a better way.
4. Let the haters hate. There will be haters. There will always be haters. And that is fantastic! Having haters means doing something. You speak up, and you do something that not everyone has to agree with. Awesome! It's a lot better to do something and be hated than to do nothing at all. And you know? You don't care about that. Let them harbor their negativity. That has nothing to do with you.
   • As Elbert Hubbard once put it, "To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." (“To avoid criticism you have to do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.”) Being judged means you are on the radar. Being a target means that you don't wallow in obscurity. It means that you are pursuing uniqueness; and that you don't blend in with the crowd. Perfect.
5. Try new things. Just as you should be open to the opinions of others, you should also be open to new activities. As children, we are stuck and can only explore the world as our parents present it. As we grow up, we have to explore the world for ourselves, and find out for ourselves what we like and don't like. You can't have an opinion about things you don't know about - and if you don't have an opinion, don't you have a preference? That is absolutely not unique.
   • Try to do something new every week. Whether you're going to a karaoke bar, visiting a Palestinian restaurant, or reading a book you'd normally never read - do it. You will find things you like, and it will benefit your personality. Discovery will make you grow.
6. Educate yourself. Just when you have to try new things, you also have to learn new things! There's a whole world out there that you don't know about yet. Grab a book that you would otherwise never be able to look at. Browse random articles on wikiHow for an hour. By broadening your horizons, you will get to know things you didn't even know you liked at first.
   • The internet is a fantastic medium. There are an awful lot of information sources that you can tap into. Simple things like “Today in History” or the Khan Academy can get you started, are great fun and don't require much effort. The more knowledge you have, the more unique it is to you.
7. Make yourself a target. We just said that haters only show up when you actually do something. We've talked about how haters shouldn't be influencing us. And now we're even going to talk about attracting haters. Not on purpose, of course; they will show themselves when you do something striking. So make yourself a target by asserting yourself. Some people will love it and others will hate it. Fine.
   • You don't have to be an artist. Not a painter, writer, or someone who literally displays his / her work (although that would be great too). It's about making it clear what you stand for. A lot of people are afraid to make their voices heard. It doesn't matter how you do it; it's about you doing it.
8. Do things that you sincerely enjoy. Try a hobby or sport you've been wanting to get into for a while. If you do things that you enjoy, you will meet more people who are on the same wavelength as you - people with whom you can develop a close friendship over time. You will also be happier. Out of nowhere, everything suddenly seems to be right.
   • Don't do things you don't enjoy! If your friends want to dance to techno music, get drunk and wear neon, but you don't feel like it on Tuesdays - don't do it. Do your own thing. You may want to study Picasso's blue period on a Tuesday morning. You may want to make waffles. You may want to clean up your Tupperware. If you can enjoy that, then go for it. Listen to yourself! Only you know what makes you happy.

Tips

• Look for a unique hobby / interest and be proud of it! However, don't choose your hobbies or interests just because they seem unique or different. Choose something that you are genuinely interested in.
• It doesn't matter how much money you have or how well you dress - a smile is the most beautiful piece of jewelry. A smile can make a person's day a bit more beautiful.
• Just be yourself. Everyone is someone else already, so it's not that difficult.
• Be self-assured! Walk into spaces proudly and enthusiastically. You don't have to be ashamed of anything.
• Learn something valuable from everyone you meet.
• Try to vary your style a bit. You can choose chic or cool, or a combination of both!
• Try to say things that are not often said, such as, “Bitches! Snotversnaatje! or Jottem! ” Speak as if you were from another century. Your manner of speaking can show how unique you are.
• People will try to hurt you with their words. When they do, remember the age-old mantra: Swearing doesn't hurt.
• Try a new haircut every day.

Warnings

• It's all too easy to be called names, bullied, or ridiculed for being unique. Or even because you express your opinion. Just ignore that! Turn the insult to something positive.
• You shouldn't try so hard to be unique that you give the impression of being “different in order to be different”. Uniqueness is about being true to yourself, because we are all different, with different values, interests and tastes. If you are happy with who you are, you will be unique - without having to do anything for it.
• When you have found the courage to be yourself, you should be happy with who you are. However, don't force your ideas on your friends. If you do, you will soon look exactly the same again.
• When someone compliments you, thank them and compliment their outfit.
• Don't be arrogant.