Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 3: Dealing with Momentary Anger
• Part 2 of 3: Preventing Outbursts of Anger
• Part 3 of 3: Learn more about tantrums

Every one of us gets angry from time to time. This is fine, but if you lose control of yourself, feel awkward, ashamed, or helpless at times like this, then you may be suffering from bouts of anger. It is estimated that about 1 in 5 people experience uncontrollable outbursts of anger and usually say or do something they regret later. Learn to deal with momentary anger, prevent tantrums, and understand your temper tantrums.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Dealing with Momentary Anger

1. 1 Go in for sports. Get regular workouts - just before a stressful situation or as a response to anger. Research has shown that exercise signals the body to release beneficial endorphins, which reduce the body's stress response and improve mood. All this will help you calm down. Exercise of any kind has a beneficial effect on anger, so just do what you enjoy (running, dancing, or walking).
   • For example, if you know you have a busy business meeting in the afternoon, set aside some time for a run in the morning. This will relieve tension and stress, and you will not come to a meeting overwhelmed.
2. 2 Count it up. While it sounds odd, counting can really help you slow down when you want to flare up or throw a tantrum.Move your thoughts from the situation to the counting and breathing. Count to ten, taking a deep breath at each count and between numbers. This exercise, if done slowly, can help you slow down and calm down. Keep counting if you feel angry even after you get to ten.
   • When you are angry, your body releases adrenaline, which raises your heart rate, makes your face flush, and causes other physical symptoms of anger or agitation.
   • Counting gives you the opportunity to slow down and calm your reactions so you don't act impulsively.
3. 3 Do breathing exercises. Learn to breathe with the diaphragm, a muscle located at the level of the lower edge of the ribs. Concentrate on your breath and take full, deep breaths that fill all your lungs. Inhale for five seconds, then exhale for another five seconds. Between each inhalation with the diaphragm, take two regular inhales and exhales so as not to oversaturate the lungs with oxygen and repeat the exercise until you feel calmer.
   • Breathing sends a signal to your body to calm down. This is due to the release of neurotransmitters that tell your brain that everything is fine and that you are safe.
   • When you are angry, adrenaline raises your heart rate and makes you feel like you’re having difficulty breathing or that you cannot breathe into your full chest.
4. 4 Meditate. Meditation helps you focus, reduces stress levels, and boosts self-awareness. All this will help calm down if you are experiencing an emotional outburst. Try to devote at least 10-20 minutes to the practice of self-awareness, which will also improve your overall psychological health.
   • Several forms of meditation can be tried, such as tai chi, yoga, transcendental meditation, and qigong.

Part 2 of 3: Preventing Outbursts of Anger

1. 1 Define the problem. It is an essential life skill that can help reduce stress and frustration. Acknowledging a problem will help you identify a problematic situation and learn how to deal with it. Understanding the cause of your frustration will also help you gain control over the situation.
   • For example, if you are in a restaurant and wait a long time for a waiter to arrive, you can recognize this as a problem if you are feeling annoyed and angry.
2. 2 Create options for yourself. Take a moment and consider the various possible options you can take, such as throwing a tantrum, not saying anything at all, or removing yourself from the situation. The key to thinking about options is to consider the consequences of each action before taking action. Choose an action that will reduce your irritation and make a difference. Once you make a decision, put your plan into action in a way that looks dignified.
   • For example, instead of throwing a scene in a restaurant and regretting it later, talk to a manager or move to a different table. These options can help ease your irritation and anger.
3. 3 Calm yourself down. Stop for a moment and make sure you are in control. Don't let anger rule your emotions. You may need to step back a little from the situation or collect your thoughts before reacting.
   • Try to deal with the situation only when you feel you are able to interact with people without outbursts of anger.
4. 4 Express your emotions. If you feel that you are fixated on a problem and cannot express your emotions, learn how to effectively express your anger. This will make you feel like you can take control of the situation. If someone upsets you, reach out to that person simply and directly. Explain how the situation makes you feel, or even tell how you would like to see it in the future. Be sure to focus on your feelings.
   • For example, let's say you come to a restaurant and wait for your waiter to return.As soon as you calm down so as not to flare up, make a request to speak with the manager. Explain your dissatisfaction with the service and ask for the situation to change. Be sure to focus on yourself while avoiding the urge to yell or make disparaging comments about the waiter, manager, or staff (for example, refrain from being personal).
5. 5 Change your expectations. In fact, take the time and reflect on your attitude. Do you often have negative thoughts or feel that you are being treated unfairly? If you often think this way, you are creating stressful situations for yourself that make you angry. Start changing the way you look at things. Instead, think about the positive aspects of the situation, or don't expect to be treated favorably.
   • For example, each day, write down three positive experiences that have happened to you. This will help you become more conscious of the positive things that are already present in your life.
6. 6 Schedule positive activities throughout the day. Plan some positive activities you can do every day. Choose activities that are not harmful or time-consuming. They should fit easily into your schedule, but still make you a happy and relaxed person. Incorporating positive things into your day will keep your anger from building up.
   • For example, take an afternoon coffee break, schedule a soothing bubble bath for the evening, or read a chapter from your favorite book during your break from work.

Part 3 of 3: Learn more about tantrums

1. 1 Understand the causes of angry outbursts in adults. A fit of anger, or a fit of rage, is an expression of anger out of proportion to the situation. You may also feel helpless or a sense of loss of control. Different factors cause anger attacks in different people. For some people, deep feelings of shame lead to outbursts of rage, while others have adopted anger as a mechanism to compensate for past trauma. In addition, the level of self-control in a situation where it is necessary to cope with anger is individual for each person.
   • Outbursts of anger are usually verbal in nature and can be part of a fit of rage, although not all anger is the same.
   • Some outbursts are less intense but occur more frequently, while others are more intense and may occur only a few times a year.
2. 2 Think about your trigger factors. The factors that trigger tantrums are sometimes easy to identify (for example, traffic or ill-mannered people can make you tantrum), and sometimes they are subtle (like standing in line or a cocky remark). Try to identify places, people, or situations that trigger your tantrums. Think about what all these factors have in common, as well as what exactly went wrong and caused your anger. Identifying triggers can help you predict situations that might trigger tantrums. This will allow you to think about how you can respond without going to extremes.
   • For example, you've noticed that when you feel cornered or feel disrespected or underestimated, it often makes you angry. If you realize that a certain employee always makes you feel like this, then you should understand that you need to look at the situation from the other side. Try to solve the problem in a civilized manner with your colleague, or do different relaxation techniques before interacting with that person.
3. 3 Keep a journal to identify your triggers. This will help you identify triggers and remember how you dealt with your anger. For example, you can learn how your family members dealt with anger attacks and learn from their methods.Or, you may find that all expressions of anger were unacceptable in your family, and you learned to hold back until you explode. Once you have a clear understanding of your triggers and why they trigger your outbursts of anger, you will begin to recognize these situations and replace your bouts of bad mood with more productive behaviors.
   • Ask yourself if you remember being angry before an emotional outburst in childhood or adolescence. Maybe you experienced such feelings and contained them in yourself? For example, if you felt that someone close to you did not appreciate or respect you, now you are very angry if you find yourself in a similar situation. Maybe it still makes you angry.
4. 4 Pay attention to angry thoughts. There are many reasons why we are angry, and anger is a normal reaction to a stressful situation. This is not a "bad" emotion. But anger can trigger unwanted and often aggressive behavior - verbal or physical. Pay attention to angry thoughts that can trigger a fit of rage. Try to focus on something else, remind yourself to calm down, and remember that this situation is temporary.
   • In some situations, you may notice short-term outbursts of anger. For example, if you are "cut off" on the road, you think, "I can't believe this person was given a driver's license !!"
   • Angry thoughts may appear after a waiting period. For example, if you are waiting for service in a restaurant, then after a while you start thinking: "Where is my waiter? Why didn't they bring me a drink?"
5. 5 Watch for physical symptoms of anger. It is important to watch your angry thoughts, but physical signs of anger should also be recognized. They can also alert you to change your way of thinking and start solving a problem. This will prevent the onset of a fit of rage. Physical symptoms of anger include:
   • Heart palpitations
   • You are thrown into paint or your face "burns"
   • Muscle tension
   • Headache
6. 6 Know when to seek professional help. A psychologist will work with you to prevent outbursts of anger and help you calm down when a certain trigger is affecting you. Work on changing your thoughts and behavior with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). Therapy can help you explore where anger comes from and how it grows. This way, you will learn to recognize potentially difficult situations and learn how to best deal with them. You should see a psychologist if you are experiencing any of the following problems:
   • Friends and family are afraid of your outbursts or shy if you put on a scene in public.
   • Your health begins to suffer, you are at risk of heart disease, bulimia nervosa and even car accidents (if you are experiencing road rage).
   • Your anger provokes serious family problems or even fights.
   • Your anger is causing you problems at work (for example, your coworker complained about you or you received disciplinary action)