Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Take a Break to Cool Down
• Method 2 of 3: Think through the apology
• Method 3 of 3: Make amends
• Warnings

Fighting with a friend causes terrible feelings. Perhaps you are offended or angry with a friend, or just want to make up. Even if it seems like you will never return to a normal relationship, chances are you can restore friendship by connecting with a friend and listening to him.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Take a Break to Cool Down

1. 1 Move away before things get too far. In a fit of feelings, it is easy to say something that you do not mean. If you feel that you can no longer control your emotions (or that your friend cannot control himself), say that you will continue the conversation later and leave.
   • Even if your friend says something that hurts your feelings, try not to get caught up in the conflict again. Tell yourself that he just broke and don't escalate the situation.
2. 2 Take a few deep breaths in and out to calm yourself. The first thing you should do after an argument is to calm down. You may find it difficult to calm down when you are at the peak of your anger, however, continuing to get excited will only make yourself worse, and it will prevent you from reconciling with your friend.
   • Inhale slowly through your nose, and then exhale through your mouth. Repeat several times, concentrating on calming yourself with each breath.
   • Alternatively, you can calm down with a peaceful walk outside, calm meditation, or eating ice cream straight from the container. Whatever you choose, take some time to unwind.
3. 3 Recognize your role in the fight. Quarrels are almost never one-sided. Think about what your actions have resulted in a conflict.Try to look at the problem from the perspective of a friend to evaluate your words from a different angle.
   • Have you been tense and irritable lately? Perhaps this affected your behavior.
   • Was your friend trying to tell you something that you brushed off? You may have hurt his feelings, which led to a fight.
4. 4 Try to see the conflict through the eyes of a friend. It can be really hard to take a step back and see things from someone else's perspective, but your ability to empathize will show your friend that you really care about him and that you are not only thinking about your own feelings.

Method 2 of 3: Think through the apology

1. 1 Keep your feelings to yourself. Don't gossip about your friend or the reasons for the fight, and you definitely shouldn't post it on social media. This will add more drama to the situation and may make it even worse.
   • Even if you share your feelings with a close friend, these words can reach the person with whom you are quarreling.
2. 2 If possible, reconcile within a few days after the fight. If you leave the question hanging in the air, then the discontent will grow. Give your friend enough time to cool off, but try to resolve the conflict as quickly as possible.
   • The amount of time depends on the individual. Some friends reconcile within five minutes of an argument, while others may take months to recover from hurtful words.
3. 3 Wait until you are ready to do so before apologizing. If you rush to apologize just because you’re tired of fighting, chances are your friend will understand that you’re not being honest.
   • You’ll know that you’re ready to apologize when you stop being angry and start worrying more about getting your friend back, rather than his hurtful words or actions.
4. 4 Don't apologize just for the sake of your friend doing the same. Perhaps the person is not ready to admit his guilt. Only apologize when you really know you hurt your friend. Better try to start a conversation without expecting anything from him.
   • Even if the person is not ready to apologize in return, you should express regret when you are ready. Just ask him to listen to you and explain why you are asking for forgiveness.
5. 5 Schedule a time to talk to a friend. Meeting face-to-face will help both of you bond and make it easier for your friend to know that your apology is sincere. Call or text him and tell him that you want to meet in person to talk. Ask him if the place and time you suggested is right for him. If not, offer to meet when you both have the opportunity.
   • Try opening the conversation by saying, “I really miss our post-class conversation,” or, “I'm really sorry for what I said, and I would like to apologize in person.”
   • If your friend isn't ready to talk, give him a little more time. You can also send him a handwritten apology note inviting him to meet and speak in person.

Method 3 of 3: Make amends

1. 1 Bring sincere and specific apologies. Don't say the standard "I'm sorry." Think carefully about what you are actually asking for forgiveness and be specific.
   • If you know you have offended your friend, apologize for what you said. Say something like, “I'm sorry I called you stupid. I really respect you and my words were frivolous and rude. "
   • If you sincerely believe that the conflict was not your fault, you can say, "I'm sorry that I took so long to call you after the fight."
2. 2 Give your friend the opportunity to share their vision of the situation. After apologizing, allow a friend to speak up. Listen carefully to what he has to say and try not to be defensive when he expresses his thoughts about the conflict.You may have done something that hurt or upset him and you are not even aware of it.
3. 3 Share your thoughts on the conflict. You can speak up about what happened, but do not use it as an excuse to stir up the past. Focus on self-perspective self-statements rather than defensive You statements.
   • You can say this: “I was nervous that day and lost my temper, but I shouldn't have done this,” or: “I was very upset that you did not listen to me, but I should not have lost my temper on you. ".
   • Make no excuses for your behavior. You can explain how you felt, but be sure to take responsibility for your words and actions.
4. 4 Accept your friend's apology if they say they are sorry. Most likely, as soon as you ask for forgiveness, the interlocutor will say: "And you forgive me." If he does, let him know that you accept his apology and are ready to return to your normal relationship.
   • If the person does not ask for forgiveness, ask yourself which is more important: to hear his apology or return the friendship.
5. 5 Give your friend more time if they are still angry. The person may not be willing to forgive you or even end the fight. Respect his feelings, but don't let him drag you back into conflict.
   • If the friend is still angry, ask what you can do to fix the situation. If he answers, try it. If he doesn't say anything, maybe he needs more time, or maybe he wants to end the friendship.
   • Try to be patient with how long it will take for your friend to recover from an argument. It may take him longer than you do, and that's okay.
6. 6 End on a positive note. It doesn't matter if you've renewed the friendship or the friend is still angry, try to end the conversation in a positive way.
   • If you are reconciled, disperse by hugging tightly and planning a quick meeting.
   • If the friend is still upset, end the conversation by saying something like, "You are still dear to me, and I'll be there if you want to talk."

Warnings

• If you have to ask your friend for forgiveness over and over again, or if he has a habit of humiliating you or making you feel uncomfortable with himself, you might want to consider if this friendship is healthy.