Author:
John Stephens
Date Of Creation:
24 January 2021
Update Date:
17 May 2024
Content
Relationship problems are hard to deal with, so it can be painful if your partner wants to stop when you're not ready. Maybe the two have quarreled a lot recently, maybe the feelings are no longer the same as before. Even if he wants to give up, you may find that the things you both have gone through are worth saving. You need to approach the issue calmly and rationally, make an effort to improve your relationship, and if he doesn't think about it, let go to move forward. Take a deep breath and you will do it!
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Talking
Talk at the most comfortable time. The time to convince him to come back isn't when he just got home after a tiring day at work, or when he's getting ready to go out with friends. Your boyfriend will want to listen to you more if you are both comfortable. Try talking to him after dinner or while you are walking.
- You could say, “I know you've been talking about breaking up lately, but I still hope I keep going. I love you and hope you think again. "
- If it is not convenient to talk at a comfortable time, you need to be very calm. Try to maintain your mind, listen, and don't raise your voice. Please refrain from crying in front of him.
Be sincere about your feelings. Maybe your boyfriend wants to break up because he doesn't feel your care. So take this chance to tell him. You don't want a year later to regret all that you should have said now, so don't hesitate.- You could say, “I know I seldom show or speak to you, but I love you so much. You are a great boyfriend and I will try harder in showing my love. I will improve if you willingly patient with me. "
Listen to your partner's point of view. Maybe he endured a lot and needed to be told. Maybe the reason he wanted to break up is completely fixable (or irreversible). Anyway, listen to what you need to do.- For example, if he wants to spend more alone time alone, the two of you could agree by adjusting the schedule.
- On the other hand, if he wants to have children but you are not ready, it may be time for everyone to go.
Ask your partner to give you more time. Let's say you understand the reason for the breakup, but you need a little more time. Ask if you can go on for another week, if after that time and he still wants to break up, it's time to accept.- Maybe he will refuse to stay. In this case, you should respect his wishes. Even if you keep insisting, it won't change anything.
Offer to forgive or be open to what you have both been through. Maybe your partner has made a mistake without your forgiveness and he is tired of torment. It is also possible that you made a mistake without actually apologizing. Take this opportunity to apologize or forgive. For example, you could say:
- “I know I cheated on you before, I really regret it. I sincerely hope you forgive me and keep going with me, but now maybe it's too late. "
- “I know I still keep that in mind, but I also know that you sincerely changed. It's hard to forget, but if we continue to be together then you have to get through it. I promise I'll trust you again if you really want to correct it. ”
Far away for a while. Maybe he just takes a little step back to think but doesn't want to completely stop. Ask if he needs some time to reflect and make the best decision. Let him know that you will be waiting for an answer and that you also need to use this time to think.
- You should also define timing and rules for this phase. Will the silence last a week or a month? Can the two meet during this time?
Offer to listen to outside opinions. If you have been dating for a while or have children together, the relationship needs more effort to save. You should both see a love, marriage, and family counselor if the other party agrees. Experts can help couples solve problems and create stronger relationships.
- Remember that outside help can be very helpful sometimes. Maybe this man-like relationship comes only once in a lifetime, so don't hesitate to try!
Part 2 of 3: Change your moves
Put yourself in your opponent's shoes. Think about why the other person wanted to break up and sympathize with him. Is the person facing family pressure, going through a difficult time in his career or study? Try to be with him instead of nagging him that he has to be with you or spending time together.
- Several times a week, try having dinner ready when he gets home. Offer to help him in any project.
- Putting yourself in the shoes of your crush will help you understand why he behaves like this. This will also help you find a solution.
Resolve immediately when there is a problem. Even if the feelings are going well, problems can still happen every day. However, having a good relationship means that you have plenty of opportunities to talk about your disagreements in a healthy way. When a disagreement arises, talk to the person to settle it in a calm and loving way.
- You can say something like this: “I'm a little sad because you won't marry Lan with me. I love you, hope you spend more time with me and my family. "
- Urging the other person to do the same is to speak up as soon as a problem arises for both of you to resolve. No one should keep sorrow in mind.
Adjust the behavior you admit is not good. If that bothers your partner, consider making a change. You may find that convincing him to come back isn't too difficult if you change your behavior. Work hard every day to become a better girlfriend.
- Being honest with your boyfriend is one example. Sincerity is the foundation in any relationship. If you're a bit selfish, stop and think in his place before asking for anything.
- Don't give in if your boyfriend demands unreasonable things. For example, if the person doesn't like your friends and wants you to stop seeing them, he's a bit too much.
End if he always wants to break up. Consider your partner's behavior. Does he always say goodbye first? Does he always refuse to compromise even in small ways? This person may be manipulating the relationship by asking for a breakup to take control of you. End the relationship at once so he cannot continue the manipulative behavior.
- If he really cares about the relationship, he will try to find a way to solve the problem instead of threatening to break up so everything goes his way.
Warm up feelings. Maybe the two have been together for too long, and the trajectory of things gradually gets boring. Let's refresh the feeling a bit! Surprise him with a romantic date night with the best looks possible. Flirt and kiss him for a long time when you both go to the cinema or at home.
- Try new activities together, such as dancing lessons, drawing lessons, and so on. Any activity you two do together will help keep the relationship fresh.
Give each other private space. Your space is the core factor determining the success of all relationships. Even if he is still hesitant about breaking up, take the initiative to keep your distance. Don't always answer the phone or answer text messages right away. Plan to go out with your friends and start a new hobby to keep yourself busy.
- This should not be used as a means to manipulate or control your partner. In addition, you also need to listen to his phone when needed.
- Instead of spending every days to be together, try dating every weekend.You don't have to be together 24/7 to be in love.
- When giving each other space, the two will miss each other more and become closer. If you spend too much time together, you will get bored easily.
Laura Bilotta
Our experts say: If you are both dating and your partner is inclined to leave, step back and give the person some space. Keep yourself busy and active, and don't spend day and night thinking too much about the relationship. Your ex will be attracted to your confidence.
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Part 3 of 3: Stay alive and move forward
Meditate every day. Whether or not the person decides to break up, you need to keep yourself informed. Take some time each day to meditate to help you think through. Sit for at least 10 minutes continuously, while focusing on your breathing and body.
- If you've never meditated before, you can use an app like Calm or Headspace.
Exercise, eat properly and sleep for 8 hours. Besides keeping your mind steady, don't forget to take care of your body. You need to exercise at least 3 times a week, eat a diet rich in vegetables, fruits, and lean meats and get enough sleep every day.
- If you can't get to the gym, walk 30 minutes after dinner.
- Exercising, eating properly and getting enough sleep are very important to your physical and mental health. If you do these things, you will feel much better.
Hang out with friends more. Friends can be a very good source of encouragement during this time. Spend more time with them rather than just focusing on your boyfriend. Don't forget that life isn't just about romance!
- Ask your friends out to watch movies, shop or drink alcohol.
- If you don't have any friends, you might consider signing up for courses like dance, martial arts or drawing.
Focus on your career and interests. Explore and develop your life outside of a loving relationship. If the person still decides to break up, these things are still there. You still have to go to work on time every day, doing even better. If your hobby is horseback riding, reading or dancing, there's no reason to give up on these activities.
- Focusing on your hobbies is also a great way to keep yourself busy after the breakup, and it can even make you feel better because you don't have time to focus on the sad old things.
Break up now if you can't compromise. If you are wholeheartedly devoted to the relationship and the person cheats or even treats you all the time, stop! Breaking up in this case is a wise decision and does not make you a coward. Pick the right moment and tell him. Then you will find someone who truly loves and cherishes you.
- You could say, “I love you, but it's time for us to stop. I tried to solve both of their problems but it seemed like all efforts were from one side. Wish you happy."
- You can also end the relationship if he doesn't care about you or problem solving.
