Author:
Peter Berry
Date Of Creation:
12 February 2021
Update Date:
15 May 2024
Content
When you feel that your relationship with your partner is struggling or is not going well, you may feel disoriented in searching for a way to save it. Many couples go through a period when they often argue or can't work together as a team. Evaluating relationships, adjusting how you interact with your partner, and spending quality time together will help save the relationship and ensure that you both get through difficult times together. this.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Relationship assessment
Decide if you both really want to save your relationship. You both need to commit to working together to heal the relationship and make it for the better. You and the person you love should be agreeing with words as this is a way to show that you are both dedicated to the relationship. If your partner is not sure what your desires are in this regard, you should reconsider what this relationship means for that person. If you both don't really want to save it, it will be difficult for you to do so.
Consider why you are still in a relationship with your ex. Before you begin to redeem your relationship, sit down and ask yourself what was initially attracted to you and how they changed or changed direction. Taking a few minutes to reevaluate why you are still in a relationship will remind you why you want to be with your ex and try to find ways to renew your relationship.- You and the person you love can do this together. You must be ready to face constructive criticism and use statements starting with the subject "I / You". Example: “I feel like we used to spend more time together. Now, we see each other very little ", or" I feel that one of the biggest factors I love about you is the energy and passion for life. But I feel like you are becoming depressed and withdrawn lately. Focus on the qualities you value and admire in your significant other, and learn when and how they are slowly fading in the relationship.
Seek opinion and advice from family and friends. Sometimes it can be difficult to make an assessment of your relationship, especially when emotions are rising. Talk to your close friends and trusted people who know you well and who you love. Discuss some of the problems you are facing and see if they have experienced a similar problem. They may offer you a few ways to heal the relationship.- Remember that too much outside advice and opinions can mess up your relationship and create assumptions and biases between you and your significant other. Listen to the advice of others, but don't trust everything. You should remember that you need to focus on communicating openly with that guy, rather than with the people around you, so that your relationship doesn't break down.
Part 2 of 3: Improving communication
Try to stay calm and respectful when talking to the person. It can be difficult to maintain respect and control your emotions when discussing ongoing relationship issues with your loved one.- Talking with care and respect for the other person will let him or her know that you are trying to save the relationship. Avoid profaning or speaking up with the person when discussing matters. Instead, be honest and clear in presenting your feelings in a caring and loving manner.
- Before you talk to the person you love, use soothing techniques to trigger a calm response in your body. Taking deep breaths, meditating, or even exercising before a conversation will help you stay calm during communication.
Be honest and specific about your feelings. To improve communication with the person you love, you need to try to avoid misleading or not conveying what you want to say clearly. One way to do this is to clearly, directly, and specifically state how you feel and want to be with the person. If you feel like your partner is neglecting the relationship, be honest and clear about why and how the problem is causing you trouble.
- Just say, "I feel like we don't see each other very often lately and I really miss being with you, just the two of us." After that, you can suggest that you both have dinner together. Your ex will understand your intentions and you can rest assured that you are actually communicating with the person you love.
- Also, when you have a disagreement, focus primarily on what makes you feel angry or upset, rather than talking about all the issues at once. If you feel like the two of you are not spending enough time together, pay attention to discussing ways that you can both meet more and spend time together. If the disagreement is about chores, such as taking out the trash, focus on this issue by asking together why it is important to take out the garbage.
- Avoid letting the garbage collection discussion divert to the issue of the person being indifferent to housework or that the person is lazy or thoughtful. Solve problems one at a time so you and your partner won't get confused and so disagreements don't turn into loud arguments.
Practice active listening. Active listening means listening to and responding to others in ways that help improve mutual understanding. Instead of seeing the conversation with your ex as a fight or competition that you need to win, think of it as a learning opportunity and a way to get to know him or her better. This will show that you see conversation with the person as a way to actively listen to what the person has to say, rather than interrupting the person or belittling what they want to say.
- To practice active listening, focus your attention on your partner and allow them to complete your story without interrupting them. Then repeat everything they say in your own words. Although you don't have to agree with them, this will show you have a clear understanding of what the person is saying and are willing to discuss his or her point of view through a healthy exchange of feelings and thoughts strong instead of loudly together.
Be ready to acknowledge the person's point of view. Active listening is only part of effective communication. The rest is to confirm the other person's point of view, re-examine his or her feelings, and discuss how to resolve the conflict. It can be an open discussion where you can both talk about how to adjust your routine or schedule to better fit them together, or a solution to the conflict you are presenting and discuss together. You need to let the person know that you respect their point of view and be willing to work with them to come up with a solution to the problem.
- For example, perhaps your partner doesn't like you working long hours and only coming home late at night. Once the person has finished speaking, respond with a saying “I heard you said I want you home earlier and not work too much so that we can spend time together. I also want the same. I have to work long hours because the deadline is coming, but I also want to have dinner with you this weekend so we can spend time together. " This kind of response will show that you listened to what the ex said and provided resolution to the conflict. You accept responsibility for your actions and agree with the person's opinion.
See a therapist or counselor if needed. Sometimes, you need to see a therapist or counselor to relieve some of the emotions and feelings that are threatening to end your relationship. Look for a therapist or counselor for a couple that you can trust and that can be honest with them. Often, seeing a therapist together is the first step in asserting your resolve to save your relationship.
- Also, consider seeing a therapist in person if you are dealing with a personal issue that could affect your relationship. Assessing your own problems will help you release the anger, anxiety, or stress you are bringing into your relationship.
Part 3 of 3: Spend quality time together
Make plans to hang out together. One of the main reasons couples have problems is that one person feels like the other is not devoting enough time and energy to the relationship. Make time for your ex and make sure he or she also has time by creating a plan to hang out and do activities you can do together. Focus on creating quality times where you and your significant other both have the opportunity to interact, chat, laugh, and have fun together.
- It can be as simple as a special date at a nice restaurant or walking together to your favorite place. Try to incorporate activities you both love and be willing to try something new. This method will make the time you spend together enjoyable and engaging.
Make a commitment to date each other once a week. If you and your partner are both quite busy with their own careers and schedules, choose a specific day of the week and make it your official date. This means that regardless of any event or job you have to do, the two of you will just spend the night together, without any other distractions. Having a specific date will make it easier for you to plan an outing or do an activity and make you both aware of when you will have a chance to be together.
- Once you have agreed on a specific date, you should avoid skipping or missing out on the date. Committing to being as timed means you must be willing to cancel any other activities for the sake of the person you love and stick to your agreement on spending quality time together.
Surprise your crush with a unique date. If you're looking to make your partner more engaged in the relationship and renew your commitment to each other, you can plan a surprise date in a unique setting.
- You can play with your crush on a laser gun, bowling, or do something more awesome like a river paddle or a sled dog game on the mountain. Combine something your partner enjoys with something he won't think about or will create a pleasant surprise for your date.
