Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Make sure you are successful
• Method 2 of 3: Using persuasion techniques
• Method 3 of 3: Don't accept no
• Tips

Have you ever asked someone for something and weren't sure if you would get the answer you wanted? It can be stressful and disappointing when people keep saying "no" to you, whether at work, at school, or at home. While there is never a guarantee that you can get someone to say "yes," there are certain strategies you can use to significantly increase your chances of doing so!

To step

Method 1 of 3: Make sure you are successful

1. Speak confident and civilized. If you approach someone with a proposal or a request, you have to put your best foot forward. You will greatly increase your chances of someone saying yes if you get the message across. Speak confidently and deliberately, without saying "er ..." or stumbling over your words.
   • Remember: practice makes perfect! Before you ask the question, practice what you want to say. You don't have to memorize it completely, because then you will sound like a robot. Just practice asking what you want to ask until it sounds confident and well prepared. If you are visual, it can help if you write down what you want to say first and practice it that way.
   • Practicing in front of the mirror can be very helpful as it also allows you to pay attention to non-verbal issues, such as playing with your hair or avoiding eye contact.
2. Nod your head while you talk. Research has shown that nodding your head while communicating an idea makes you appear more positive and confident, which translates into a more confident and knowledgeable appearance to your audience, be it your boss, client, or loved one.
   • While this nonverbal trick is good to use, don't overdo it. Only nod if it feels natural. Don't force it or it just distracts from your words, instead of reinforcing them.
3. Show how others benefit from your request / idea. People are more likely to say yes if you can prove that they are improving in some way. Show what they can do if they agree with your proposal.
   • For example, if you want to take some time off from work, you can discuss with your boss what time of the year is normally quietest at work. Then your boss sees the advantage of granting you your vacation: you are considerate and want to take time off during a quiet period, so that it does not harm the company.
   • Or if you want to go out with your husband and you have to persuade your older daughter to look after her little brother, you can arrange, for example, that she can come home a little later in exchange for babysitting, that she will receive extra pocket money or that she can use the car on the weekend. This shows your teen that saying yes will also benefit her.
4. Ask questions to find out what is important to him / her. You cannot sell your idea or request to someone if you have not done your homework, before or during the interview. If someone doesn't feel like what you propose or offer, you can't persuade him / her to say yes.
   • If a family of five walks into a car dealership and you try to sell them a two-seater sports car, you're wasting your time. Ask questions such as: "What is the car mainly used for?" and "What kind of characteristics should a car have for you?" Respond to what they need and they will be much more likely to say yes so that you can complete the sale.
5. Ask for something small first. Also known as the "foot in the door" method, this refers to asking for a small favor to initiate a larger request. The idea behind this is that people are more likely to say yes to a big request if they have already said yes to something smaller. For example, if you try to persuade your child to have one more bite of the food and they do, they will likely keep eating when you ask. (Especially when it comes with a reward.)
6. Try to make the request in a positive environment. Nothing is worse for negotiations than a bad mood. If possible, don't negotiate with someone who is angry or distant. Wait until the other person is in a better mood to make your request. At a dinner party or a night out is usually a good time to ask someone for a favor.
   • Of course, this does not apply to work situations where you are expected to negotiate, such as when you are trying to sell something to a disgruntled customer. You can't always create a positive environment when you want to get someone to do something. But if you can choose, wait until the person who has to say yes is in a good mood. This increases the chance that you will hear yes.
   • Look for non-verbal signs that you should wait, such as crossed arms, external distractions (such as a telephone or children not behaving), rolling your eyes or frowning. Even if the other person listens to you out of courtesy, they won't actually hear you, so you should wait for a time when they are less distracted or angry.

Method 2 of 3: Using persuasion techniques

1. Use peer pressure. People often base their decision on the opinion of others. We read restaurant reviews before eating and ask friends what they thought of a particular movie before we go there. This herd behavior can be a useful tool if you want someone to say yes to you.
   • For example, if you are trying to sell a house, this technique may involve getting and printing reviews about the neighborhood from the Internet, showing potential buyers how upscale the neighborhood is, and that there are tons of good schools nearby. This form of peer pressure through positive judgments from others can help with the sale of the house.
   • For example, if you want to convince your parents to let you study abroad, you can show them how exclusive the program is, or how positive other students and their parents (and potential employers!) Have rated the study.
2. Use the "one good reason approach." If you ask people for a favor with no apparent benefit to them, they may not be eager to help you. However, if you give them a reason, they are more likely to say yes to you. It is important that the reason sounds fair and valid. If they discover that you are lying, they will be even less likely to respond to your request.
   • For example, if you are in line for the toilets and you are in a hurry, you can ask the people in front of you if you can go first. If you just ask: "I have to go to the bathroom, can I go first?" they will be much less likely to agree than if you ask the same question and give a reason for it. For example, if you say, "May I please first? I really need to go to the bathroom because I have a condition in my intestines," they will be much more likely to agree to your request.
3. Make use of the "reciprocity standard". This psychological concept is based on the idea that when others do something for us, we feel obligated to do something for them too. For example, if you once stood in for a colleague when he was ill, the next time you are unable to work, you will ask that colleague to fill in for you, and then also mention that you did it for him last time.
   • To do this, say something like, "I would like to be off this Friday, and since I worked for you last weekend, I was hoping you could fill in for me this week." Because he owes you, he is more likely to say yes to you.
4. Pretend your product or service is scarce. Advertisers use this technique constantly, saying that their offer is only valid for a limited time, or that there are only a few items left for sale. You can use this trick to get people to say yes to you. If you sell someone something and say that the offer is limited or that it is running out, people are more likely to want to buy it.

Method 3 of 3: Don't accept no

1. Give them the choice between yes or yes. Research shows that when you give them too many choices, people become overwhelmed and discouraged. If possible, limit your proposal to just a few options to avoid this.
   • Examples include giving your loved one only two choices of restaurants, or asking a friend which of the two dresses she likes best. This is an easier choice than "Where shall we eat tonight?" or "What should I wear?" If you give specific, limited options to choose from, you give the choice between yes and yes, which makes it easier for the other person to make a decision.
2. Be open to negotiation or a partial yes. Not every battle can be won without compromise. Trying to persuade someone to say yes, and they want to negotiate or say yes with reservations, is at least a step in the right direction. Think of it as a victory that you at least persuaded him / her to compromise.
   • This is especially true in situations where you are dealing with a superior, such as your boss or parents. For example, if you're trying to schedule a time with your parents to be home, there may be room for negotiation. If they want you to be home by 11pm, and you want to stay out until 1am, it's a win if they agree to have you home by 12pm. Or if you approach your boss about a 7% raise, and he only wants to give you 4%, that also counts as a win, because at least you persuaded him to start paying you more. You got what you wanted with a detour (going out with your friends longer, or a raise).
   • Don't see compromise as negative. Think of it as a yes, but with conditions. Your persuasiveness has put you in a better position than before before you asked the other person for what you wanted.
3. Ask questions that you know will elicit a yes. Sometimes it is helpful to ask questions that you know will elicit a positive response. Rather than persuading someone or trying to sell something, sometimes we just want a positive response to create a more fun atmosphere. For example, on a first date or a family dinner, if you've done your best to please everyone, this can be a useful strategy to use.
   • For example, if you are out with someone on a night out, you can say: "How nice is that wine, isn't it?" or "Are you crazy about this city too?" Or at a family dinner you could say, "Grandma's chicken is still the best in the world, isn't it?" These types of questions should always be answered with yes, and they can align you with those around you.
4. End with an active note. Even if you didn't get a firm yes, you should try to end the meeting or conversation proactively, with a view to the future. Then the request does not linger in space, but there is progress towards your goal.
   • For example, if you've tried to sell furniture to a man who says he should discuss it with his wife, you can end the conversation by saying something like, "That sounds good. Shall I call you on Thursday?" Sellers stick to the adage of "always closing the deal". Working proactively on your next meeting is a great way to not accept no without getting overly pushy or getting the other person to shut down completely.

Tips

• It is important to wait for the right time to make a request. If someone is angry or distracted (especially a loved one, boss, or parent), you're less likely to get yes in response. If possible, wait until the other person is in a better mood. Then it is more likely that he / she will say yes.