How to deal with cheating

Video: How To Deal With A Cheating Partner | Relationship Advice

Content

Steps
Tips
Warnings

Do you suspect (or know) that your monogamous partner has cheated on you? Unfortunately, you are not alone in this. Between 25 and 50% of all loyal partners cheat at one time or another.

However, the realization that there are other people who have experienced similar experiences does not get any easier. Study the steps below and use them to overcome this trauma. This question can be extremely painful, and emotions can be overwhelming, so consider this article as a list of actions to help you get through this event.

Steps

1 First of all, take a deep breath and give yourself some time. Don't act rashly. Think rationally! This is especially important if you are in a long-term relationship. Hasty and thoughtless reactions can lead to consequences that you are likely to regret. Collect your thoughts a bit before taking any action.
2 Talk to someone. You are not alone. Statistics provide inaccurate and excellent data, but many surveys conducted on the topic of cheating showed that from 25 to 50% of all married people at one time or another will cheat or have already cheated on their partner.
3 Don't blame yourself. People often start looking for reasons for betrayal in themselves ... Nothing good will come of it. Sometimes both partners are to blame for treason, but this is not always the case. However, after a while, it will be helpful to look inward to understand why the partner sought comfort elsewhere. Perhaps there were some aspects in your behavior that led to such actions on the part of your partner. Remember, most people choose to live a monogamous lifestyle because it brings happiness and a sense of security. However, there will always be those willing to take a different path.
4 Determine if you have really been cheated on. Ask yourself the following questions: were you an official couple when the "betrayal" occurred? Have you made a clear commitment to being faithful to each other? If not, you cannot be sure that your partner knew that his act would offend you, in which case you can resort to less radical solutions to the problem.
5 Talk to your partner. Communicate your concerns and fears. Perhaps it turns out that there was no betrayal, or perhaps something really happened, and against the will of the partner (for example, sexual harassment in the workplace, which must be openly and immediately discussed in order to prevent future incidents). Perhaps the situation was influenced by alcohol or drug abuse, or a psychological problem played a role that needs to be dealt with (sexual addiction does exist). If helping is a worthwhile move, you may need to support your partner — it’s likely to benefit both of you. However, alcohol or drug abuse is not a valid excuse for inappropriate behavior, and you should definitely not accept the argument, "Yes, but I was drunk, so it doesn't matter." Stand firm on your own.
6 Ask yourself if you will ever be able to look at your partner the way you used to. For some people, cheating is not great, and some people have more than one physical connection, which is not a problem in their relationship with a long-term partner, but such cases are rare. Infidelity often indicates boredom and dissatisfaction with the current relationship. Dealing with a partner who doesn't want to be with you in the first place or who is capable of hurting you is ridiculous. Get away from him.
7 If you've made the decision not to put up with it, don't end the relationship just to return later. This will only increase the emotional tension. If you decide to break up, put a final point. However, you can just take a break in the relationship. If you are taking a break of any kind (permanent or temporary), do not interact with your ex immediately after the breakup. First, give yourself some time to cool off. This will probably not be possible if you have children or serious financial problems. In this case, set clear rules (time frames, meeting places, etc.). It can be tricky, but it is very important to do it.
8 If you are married and are almost certain that your partner is having an affair on the side, you can contact a reputable attorney or private detective who specializes in family relationships. Explore the information on the Internet or ask for recommendations from friends.
9 If you go to a private detective, do not call your partner for a frank conversation and do not blame him. Let the detective do his job first (if you call your spouse into a conversation, he may become even more cautious, which will increase the cost of the investigation).
10 Get tested for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) as soon as possible. Uncertainty can be very stressful. It is also very important to start treatment early.
11 Whenever possible, gather evidence (receipts, emails, photographs, etc.) about the affair. Keep this information at the home of a friend or family member. In the future, this will help save money on the services of a private detective.
12 Don't spread rumors. If you share your suspicions with more than one close friend, it is likely that gossip will swarm after that, which can negatively affect many areas of your life. If there is an investigation, such conversations can interfere with the case.
13 Pay attention to your actions as well. If you are on the sidelines too, it may be time to speak openly with your partner and clarify the situation. Perhaps you should make an appointment with a family counselor. If you choose a divorce, remember that it can very quickly develop into a real war with your spouse, and your adventures will also become known.
14 Don't change in return. Don't start a relationship on the side just because your spouse cheated on you. This is pure revenge, and it will not lead to anything good.

Tips

Leave if this situation has caused you too much pain.
It is very important to be honest with yourself. If you don't end the relationship, can you live with the thought that it could happen again?
If you decide to move on, forgive your partner, leave resentment behind, and don't dwell on the past.
Do you want to spend energy on constant monitoring of the relationship?
See a psychologist! It is useful to attend sessions, even when nothing bad happens in life, and if it hurts you, then talking to a specialist will definitely help you.