Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 3: Alarm Management
• Part 2 of 3: Talking to a Stranger
• Part 3 of 3: Preparing for a Specific Conversation
• Tips
• Warnings

Starting a conversation with a stranger is like skydiving. This is interesting, but very risky. Plus, sometimes this conversation can change your life. If you, despite your fears and concerns, make the necessary efforts, then one such conversation can radically change your life. Read this article and you will learn how to start a conversation with a stranger.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Alarm Management

1. 1 Practice before you start talking to strangers. Talking to strangers, like any other skill, needs to be developed: the more you practice, the better you get. Practice will help you feel and behave more naturally, you won't even think on how to start a conversation with strangers. To achieve this, set goals for yourself.
   • Do not overdo it! If you find it difficult to communicate with strangers at first, take your time. Start small, for example, try starting a conversation with two strangers a week. You can add one conversation every week.
   • Force yourself! There is a fine line between pushing yourself and not overdoing it. Don't let fear hold you down. Get out of your comfort zone.
2. 2 Attend events yourself. Don't invite other people with you. Create situations for yourself in which you will be among strangers. In this case, you will not be able to hide behind the backs of your friends. If you don’t speak to anyone the first couple of times, don’t worry, it’s okay! You have already taken an important step, you have attended an event where there are many new people for you! Find out what events will take place in your city. Attend events with people you don't know.
   • Art show
   • Book presentations
   • Concerts
   • Exhibitions in museums
   • Open festivals
   • Party
   • Parades / rallies / protests
3. 3 Ask a friend to help you. If you find it difficult to speak to a stranger, ask your friend to help you. With the help of a friend, you can start a conversation with a stranger, and you will feel more comfortable knowing that someone close to you is there.
   • Don't let your friend take the lead. Tell your friend ahead of time that you want to learn how to talk to people you don't know.
4. 4 Don't think too much. If you worry too much about something going wrong, you are setting yourself up for failure. The more you think about it, the more you will worry. As soon as you spot a person with whom you can start a conversation, get straight to the point. This way you will experience less stress.
5. 5 Be confident. You may be intimidated by a conversation with a stranger, especially when you realize that this conversation can be life-changing for you. If you are going to a job interview or want to talk to an attractive man or woman, you may be worried that the other person will notice that you are nervous. But believe me, no one knows that you are experiencing excitement! Try to behave more confidently, even if you feel fear and anxiety.
   • Remember, over time you will not have to pretend that you are a confident person, you really will be.
6. 6 Don't let negative reactions affect you. Be prepared for the fact that a person's reactions can be different. As a shy person, you know very well that sometimes people don't feel like talking at all! If someone doesn't want to talk to you, don't take it personally.
   • Remember even a negative result is an experience that will come in handy in life. This is a chance to learn and improve.
   • People don't bite. The worst thing that can happen is someone says that he is very busy or asks to be left alone. This is not the end of the world!
   • Believe me, no one pays attention to you except yourself. People tend to think only of themselves, so don't worry if someone thinks bad of you.

Part 2 of 3: Talking to a Stranger

1. 1 Be open and friendly. If you look sullen, the person is unlikely to want to talk to you. Even if you are very worried, try to relax and be friendly. This will make people feel calm in your presence. This is a good conversation starter.
   • Maintain eye contact. Instead of fiddling with your phone nervously, look around for the people present. Try to make eye contact with someone.
   • Smile when you make eye contact, even if you don't plan on starting a conversation. Communication is not always words. In addition, thanks to these techniques, you can get the person to talk.
   • Learn to control yourself. Our body language can say a lot about us. Do not slouch, hold your head high. If you are a confident person, people will want to connect with you.
   • Do not cross your arms over your chest. Typically, this gesture means that you are closed or not interested in the conversation.
2. 2 Show non-verbally that you want to talk to someone. You are more likely to be considered strange if you abruptly approach the person and start talking to them. Instead of suddenly starting a conversation with someone, show non-verbally that you want to start a conversation. Make eye contact and smile before starting a conversation.
3. 3 Start with a short conversation. Long, deep conversation can turn a person away. Start small. Instead of asking a question about the meaning of life, just express your opinion about an event or ask for a favor:
   • The bar is closing already. It would not hurt to leave a good tip!
   • Traffic jams today! Do you know what happened?
   • Could you connect my laptop to the network? The outlet is right behind you.
   • Can you please tell me what time it is?
4. 4 Introduce yourself. After you have started a conversation, you need to find out the name of the person. The best way to do this is to say your name. Most likely, the person will say his name. If he ignores you, he may be in a very bad mood or ill-mannered. In any case, this is a sign that it is not worth continuing the conversation.
   • After you have started a conversation, you can say "My name is [your name]". You can reach out when you say your name.
5. 5 Ask open-ended questions. If you ask questions that the person will give monosyllabic answers to, the conversation will quickly come to its logical conclusion. Instead, ask questions that will help keep the conversation going. For example:
   • "How was your day?" instead of "Have you had a good day?"
   • "I see you here often. What motivates you to come here so often? What attracts you?" instead of "Do you come here often?"
6. 6 Ask the person to explain something to you. We all like it when we are considered an expert in some matter. Even if you know a lot about the topic under discussion, listen to what the person has to say. For example, if something happened in your area, you might say, "Oh, I saw the headlines in the newspapers, but I had absolutely no time to read the material. Do you happen to know what happened?" People are more willing to contact when they feel that others can learn something from them.
7. 7 Don't be afraid to argue. Of course, it is very important to find common ground with a person. However, oddly enough, different views on some issue can be the basis for a good conversation. Show the person that they will not be bored with you. Lead a discussion and don't be afraid to express your opinion.
   • The discussion should take place in a relaxed manner. If you see that the person is starting to get annoyed, it is better to change the subject.
   • Be friendly, don't argue.
   • Smile and laugh during the conversation to show that you are having a good time and are not nervous.
8. 8 Choose only safe themes. While you can choose topics that will be a good basis for discussion, avoid topics that can create negative emotions in your interlocutor. Discussion of topics related to religion or politics can lead to serious disagreements with the interlocutor. However, discussing topics related to travel or football can be relaxed and fun. Other safe topics might be movies, music, books, or food.
9. 9 Let the conversation be free and easy. Of course, you can prepare in advance a list of questions to discuss with the person. However, you are unlikely to have a casual conversation! Of course, you can create a topic for conversation, but don't try to use a template. If your interlocutor wants to talk about something else, give in! Ask him to explain the moments that you do not understand and be glad that you have the opportunity to learn something new.

Part 3 of 3: Preparing for a Specific Conversation

1. 1 Prepare for fleeting conversations. Try talking to people in line at the grocery store or in the elevator. This is a great opportunity to practice communicating with strangers. Knowing that you don't have to talk for too long, since situations involve short conversations, it will be easier for you to start a conversation. Don't touch on deep topics. You can start like this: "This elevator smells bad," or "Please convince me not to buy candy."
2. 2 Prepare for a longer conversation. If, for example, you are in a coffee shop or bookstore, you might want to set aside more time for socializing. Try to have fun! Joke, let your new acquaintances see you as a pleasant and interesting person.
3. 3 Try to find out the information you need if you have a romantic interest in this person. You can try asking the person more personal questions. You will be able to learn a lot about a person, and also show that he is interesting to you not just as a friend. By listening to the answers, you will understand whether this person is right for you or not.
   • Remember that everything needs a measure. Most likely, it will be inappropriate to ask the person at the first meeting how many children they would like to have.
   • Instead, talk about yourself and let the person do it. For example, you might say, "I am actually a sissy / daddy's daughter. We try to talk every day."
4. 4 Develop your skills as you work. Attend corporate parties where you can meet new people. In addition, you can take part in various conferences. Try to impress other people as a confident person.Even if you get anxious talking to strangers, pretend you're not scared.
   • Don't use jokes from bar patrons.
   • Talk about your job. This will show that you are a professional in your field.
5. 5 Do your best to be remembered during the interview. Try to leave pleasant impressions after yourself. Show that you are a pleasant conversationalist. Try to stand out from others. Raise topics that will help you make a lasting impression.
   • Say something memorable, like, "I missed my workout to come for an interview, which is why this job is so important to me!"

Tips

• Don't force others to talk to you. If the person is not interested in the conversation, do not pressure him.
• If you decide to get out to an unfamiliar place or city, it is best to tell your loved one where you are going and at what time you are going to return.
• If you use Facebook, check the news page to keep up to date with events in your city.
• Try to build a reputation for being sociable and kind. This image will help you during subsequent meetings and communication.
• In order to make it easier for you and make your first communication experience less intimidating, you can use social resources (for example, meetup.com). Such social networks involve real-life communication. You will be able to find groups in your city that match your interests. It will become easier for you to communicate with new people.
• Learn to feel comfortable no matter what situation you are in. If you are comfortable, you will not feel awkward.

Warnings

• You certainly run into one of these problems. The sooner you deal with them, the better you will understand that all this is not so scary.
  
  
  • You have approached a person, but you do not know what to say.
  • You feel uncomfortable in the presence of other people.
  • During the first conversation, you will notice that you are shaking with excitement.
  • You got off to a great start to the conversation, and then fell silent and did not know what else to say (awkward silence).
  • You will say “This is so difficult! I'd rather watch the movie alone. ”
  • Some people will think that you are harassing them.
  • You may feel that you are insignificant.