Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Face Your Thoughts and Emotions
• Method 2 of 3: Take Action
• Method 3 of 3: Make personal changes

If you think you are a pervert, you are probably ashamed of your thoughts and actions about sex. You may be ashamed of your religious or spiritual beliefs, or your marital status (such as a monogamous relationship or marriage). Be that as it may, most likely you understand that your behavior is outside the norm, or at least outside the boundaries of your personal views on sexual desires. Remember that it is difficult to define sexual "normality" and that sex life depends on a spectrum of thoughts, desires, and practices.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Face Your Thoughts and Emotions

1. 1 Consider how your sexual thoughts affect your life. You may be obsessed with certain videos or sex fantasies every day and are not living your life because of that. How much are your perversions interfering with your productive or happy life? Does it hurt other people? How do these thoughts and actions cause problems?
   • Think about how your thoughts and actions affect your daily activities and how your life might change if they disappeared. Would you have more time free? Would other people change their mind about you?
   • Keep in mind that sexual thoughts are natural and not evil. If you've heard that thinking about sex makes you a bad person or that you will be punished for it, remember: everyone thinks about it, and this is a common thing. Many different fantasies are especially characteristic of adolescence, which is a normal part of learning about one's sexuality.
2. 2 Learn more about what healthy sexuality is. Healthy sexuality can be tricky to understand. For example, some people like to engage in casual relationships, while others find this behavior awful. Someone gets pleasure from masturbation, and someone is ashamed of it or refuses to do it. Defining healthy sexuality means acting according to your norm and in a manner that enriches your life. In other words, you should feel sexually fulfilled and happy without a trace of shame or self-loathing.
   • Remember that humans are, by nature, sexual beings, so it is perfectly normal to have sexual desires or feelings.
3. 3 Determine your own healthy sexuality. While you are trying to reduce the number of perverse thoughts, it is also important to decide what you consider normal. Do not focus on cutting the genital area completely out of your life. Instead, focus on creating a healthy sexual environment for yourself, your body, and your mind. Remember that it is impossible to refrain from all thoughts and desires of a sexual nature. However, it is possible to control your behavior.
   • Make a list of what you think is healthy sexuality. Focus on identifying healthy thoughts and actions, and identifying how you interact with other people sexually and how you feel about yourself afterwards.
   • Think about what makes you feel good and what makes you feel bad. What's the difference between the two?
4. 4 Fight shame. Shame often comes from the belief, "I am bad because I behave this way." If you think you are a pervert, chances are you are somewhat ashamed of it. This can lead to low self-esteem. Face your shame and admit that it does not play a positive role in your life.
   • Identify when you are ashamed. After masturbating or after watching pornography? Or after thoughts of a sexual nature? Notice what awakens shame. Then decide whether to get rid of shame or action. Analyze your feelings about the action: will you feel better if you stop doing it, or do you need to work it out so that there is no bashful reaction left.
   • Where does shame come from? Is this a belief that has been passed down to you from your family? Is it related to deeply rooted religious beliefs? By identifying the source of shame, you can work it out.
   • As you work through the shame you want to get rid of, tell yourself, “I am able to love and express my sexuality in a healthy and enjoyable way. There is no shame in expressing your sexuality. "
5. 5 Deal with guilt. Guilt can be a healthy emotion if it is recognized for its role in shaping behavior. For example, if you feel guilty about an action, it is likely that guilt also accompanies it. As a result, the next time you find yourself in a similar situation, you may do differently.
   • If you feel guilty about thoughts or feelings of a sexual nature, take this as a signal to watch out for. Take the time and try to understand where the guilt comes from and how you can have a healthy sex life without that feeling.
   • When you feel guilty, ask yourself: Is it related to intercourse / thoughts, my sexuality, or external influence (such as religion or beliefs)? Is this guilt justified?
   • If you don't want to feel sexual guilt, tell yourself, "I have the right to be a sexual being and express my sexuality in a healthy way without feeling guilty."
   • If you have offended someone sexually, it is imperative to deal with the situation.
6. 6 Treat your body positively. If you are ashamed or ashamed of your body, learn to recognize yourself as you are.Accept your skin color, hair texture, height and weight. When we hate our body, sometimes we start to cycle on the figures of other people and think about them in a perverse manner. Start by accepting yourself. The more you accept yourself, your body and your sexuality, the less unhealthy elements will manifest in your sex life.
   • If you are embarrassed about your body because of stretch marks, loose skin, or scars, forgive it. Learn to appreciate the functions your body performs, such as digestion, detoxifying, and converting food into nutrients.
   • It is not necessary to honor every part of your body, but it is still worth taking some time to express gratitude for the little things the body does for you and the abilities it gives you.
   • Your body tells a story. Your skin tone, freckles and scars all embody a history of ancestry and experience. Pay homage to your family and your unique experiences on your living canvas.

Method 2 of 3: Take Action

1. 1 Delete images and videos from your computer. Erase all materials on your gadgets that lead you astray. Without temptation on your computer and phone, there will be an environment around you that will support you in your quest to reduce unpleasant thoughts and feelings about sex.
   • Take advantage of the parental control function so as not to "accidentally" open a particular porn site. If you need to disable this feature, you will have a few seconds to rethink everything and channel your impulse in a different direction.
   • If pornography has literally swallowed you, read How to Cope with Porn Addiction.
2. 2 Throw away any magazines or images you have. Also, remove any posters from the walls of your room and get rid of any T-shirts, stickers, and hats that don't fit your views of healthy sexuality. You need to create an atmosphere that inspires you to stick to your goals and dispels any thoughts and feelings that don't fit your version of healthy sexuality.
3. 3 Watch your humor. Sexually suggestive jokes can be your way of making a vulgar comment disguised as laughter, but in reality, you are expressing ill will and disrespect. Often times, jokes with sexual connotations are not funny, especially if they are directed at someone in particular. They can often be disrespectful and offensive. You should never make fun of someone's sexuality, especially if it is done to spread the word or intend to hurt the person. Just don't do it.
   • If a joke comes to your mind that seems funny to you, but at the same time offensive to someone, keep it to yourself.
4. 4 Get distracted. You may need to distract your thoughts and / or do something else. As soon as you catch yourself thinking or behaving you want to change, shift your focus. For example, move your eyes, start another conversation, or apologize and walk away.
   • If you find it difficult to stay focused, take a break and go to the bathroom, take a walk, or do something else.
   • If you notice that you are looking at someone inappropriately, pull yourself up and shift your attention.
   • If an inappropriate joke is about to come off your lips, stop and try to say something else.
5. 5 Interact with people in a respectful manner. If you have perverse thoughts about people, make sure you treat everyone with respect and respect. If you are attracted to women, be courteous to all women. Do the same if you are attracted to men. Respect the sexual frame of each person. Discuss them before you have sex. Set boundaries and discuss your preferences and desires, and make sure to understand your partner's preferences and desires.
   • Don't treat the person in a way that sexually devalues ​​them.
6. 6 Try not to reinforce other people's opinions about you. If other people say that you are a pervert, then you should take steps not to reinforce this opinion. Some actions may even be construed as sexual harassment or bullying, which will cause you a lot of trouble. Be sure to avoid the following:
   • do not make jokes or show sexual gestures;
   • Don't bring up sex at an inopportune moment, such as during class, or when someone is telling you a story, or in other situations where it might confuse people.
   • do not send messages or images of a sexual nature to people;
   • do not touch your private places in public;
   • do not touch people in a frivolous manner and / or without permission;
   • do not be naked in front of people.

Method 3 of 3: Make personal changes

1. 1 Deal with stress effectively. Under the influence of stress, we often return to old habits over and over again. Find ways to relax and manage stress on a daily basis. Don't let stress build up, try to lower it every day. Here are great options: exercise, hang out with people, and don't get nervous over trifles.
   • Join a runner's club, start yoga, or take daily walks with your dog.
   • Call a friend, invite guests to a game night, or plan a dinner with your buddies.
   • If you're chronically stressed out but don't know how to spot it, start keeping a journal and track what is causing you stress every day / week / month. You can start by identifying stress patterns and then dealing with them one at a time.
2. 2 Choose your friends carefully. Don't surround yourself with people who encourage you to think or act perversely. You may need to temporarily take a break from friends or even choose a new social circle. Let people in your life who support and cheer you up in a manner that is most helpful to you. Having good support can help you deal with stress.
   • If some people are negatively affecting you, but are still firmly established in your life, politely ask them to moderate their comments or behavior, or not discuss these things in your presence.
3. 3 Talk to your friends. Your friends can help you along the way and make it easier with their support. If you and your buddies are struggling with similar problems, create a reporting team. Send support messages, meet for lunch, and don't let each other get out of the way.
   • Alternatively, you can join a support group. Look for one in your city or on the Internet.
4. 4 Make an appointment with a psychologist. If you feel that you cannot control your thoughts, feelings and behavior, and you think that you cannot cope with this on your own, make an appointment with a psychologist. It can help you deal with your feelings, find strategies for dealing with perverse thoughts and actions, and work through the process of reducing negative thoughts of a sexual nature. The psychologist's job is to support you and help you lead a happier and more fulfilling life.
   • More information can be found here: "How to Know When It's Time to Talk to a Therapist."