Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Obsession Pitfalls
• Method 2 of 3: Getting the Right Time
• Method 3 of 3: Dealing with Obsession
• Tips
• Warnings

Obsession can kill a relationship. The desire to be with a person 7 days a week, 24 hours a day, not to let him out of sight, not to stop thinking about him - all this can extinguish the spark of love. The irony is that this behavior will backfire - you will lose the relationship that you are so obsessed with. Learn how to get rid of your compulsive tendencies and find true love.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Obsession Pitfalls

1. 1 Know the dangers of being obsessed with another person. Obsession prevents you from developing and fulfilling yourself. It is impossible to satisfy your needs through another person - this will choke him, and leave you feeling dependent and helpless. This will negatively affect both you and the person with whom you are in a relationship.
2. 2 Understand what true love is. In true love, you love someone based on who you are, not who they are. This person cannot fill your lack of anything - only you can do it.Love is a free choice, not salvation from all problems. Love is not an excuse to shy away from the difficulties that life confronts you. Love is not a way to avoid the difficult tasks of growing up, maturing and finding your own path in life.
3. 3 Keep in mind that obsession closes many opportunities for you. When you are obsessed with your partner, you overlook the potential limitations and failures of your relationship. While you are engrossed in the object of your obsession, a person with whom you have a much better chance of happiness may pass by. By not allowing yourself to turn love into an obsession, you give yourself the freedom to objectively assess whether the relationship is right for you, and if not, look for a way to end it and find a healthier connection.

Method 2 of 3: Getting the Right Time

1. 1 In relationships, the issue of time allocation is a very important point, and for everyone it is solved differently. A person may have life priorities that you may simply not understand. When a person becomes obsessed with his partner and, like a madman, hopes that the very fact of his existence will be enough to change someone's life values ​​and priorities, a misunderstanding arises in the relationship, and the whole situation suggests that he needs to check his idea of world with reality. A person who forces others to change their plans will receive rejection in return. It may not be immediately noticeable, but over time, it will come to the surface; very often this happens when you absorb a person so much that his departure from you is experienced as the loss of a part of yourself. It is better to behave wisely from the very beginning, rather than fantasizing, appeasing and forcing a person to love you.
2. 2 Relax. Even if it seems to you that this is the right person for you, do not forget that you can be with him at different stages of the relationship. Relax, don't rush things. Adapt to his pace. Not all love develops at the same rate; If you slow down a little, you will feel better, and the other person will have the opportunity to miss you and want to make your relationship closer.

Method 3 of 3: Dealing with Obsession

1. 1 If you are obsessed with your partner, admit it to yourself. That way, you will identify a problem that you can work on.
2. 2 Love yourself first. Do not confuse this with narcissism and self-centeredness, this is completely different. Loving yourself means treating yourself with respect and support, recognizing and encouraging your talents, and taking care of your needs and desires. Understanding who you are is also helpful here; someone achieves this earlier, someone later.
3. 3 Warn loved ones that you are still working on yourself. The stronger your sense of confusion about who you are, the harder you must be to combat obsession with other people and to draw a clear line in any relationship by indicating that you are still "looking for yourself." This is not about avoiding responsibility, it is also a form of escape from reality. Here we are talking about this: you must tell the person that you are still looking for your own path and trying to understand what you want from life, that sometimes you lose your bearings and start blurring the boundaries, relying too much on the support, love and attention of this person, instead of standing firmly on your feet. Honesty will help both of you deal with adversity without turning a blind eye to anything.
4. 4 Dedicate yourself to the pursuits, aspirations, and goals that suit you. One of the signs of being obsessed with another person is giving up your own pursuits and attitudes. A person begins to do only what the object of his obsession is doing, to love only what he loves, to concentrate only on what he is concentrated on.To a certain extent, this happens when you first feel in love with a new person, but this should not go so far that your interests are completely replaced by those of your partner. Find a good balance between being involved with your partner's interests and priorities and your hobbies.
   • Do not give up your hobbies and sports. Sometimes invite your partner to come and see what you are doing, but do not expect your partner to constantly live in your interests.
   • Look for new hobbies as you get older. Don't suppress your maturation and maturation just for fear that your partner will not like the change or your new interests. If your partner reacts to it this way, then it is bad for you to be around him; all people grow and change, this is to be expected.
   • Don't give up your hobbies and hobbies. Relationships are only your one passion, it should not replace all the joys of life for you.
5. 5 Continue to see your friends, family, and the community at large. Your partner should not become the center of your whole life, you should not spend all your time with him at the cost of communicating with other people. Although the first few months of the relationship, the lovers practically merge into one whole, it shouldn't last long. Make a purposeful effort to get back to your friends and family and get your social activity back on track. It will be even better if you do not lose touch with society even at the beginning of the relationship; the right partner will accept your social obligations as part of your personality, and will respect that.
   • If your partner requires you not to socialize with others or do anything other than hanging out together, you should be extremely careful. These are all signs of a controlling, domineering person who can manipulate you in such a way that you become obsessed with her, and not let anyone else into your life. All of this can be aggravated to the point that it seems to you that you are making your choice, while in fact you are under the influence of manipulation.
6. 6 Try to enjoy your relationship more. Obsession with your partner robs the relationship of all the joys, turning everything into hard work - you worry about every word and deed, you feel jealous about everything and everyone who takes your partner's attention from you. Remember that this person may or may not be your love for life. Also keep in mind that "love for life" is an ideal, adherence to which makes you more prone to obsession, because you will try to find its embodiment in a person. If both of you are passionate about a relationship, then this is because you enjoy spending time with each other, it is easy and pleasant for you when you are together, and the relationship does not fall apart when you are apart. If this is not the case, then no amount of obsession will glue what is not created for each other.
7. 7 Keep your social media conversations pleasant and short. Try not to waste your partner's time, do not waste yours on viewing his profile wall or updates. In particular, you should not leave sharp or defiantly sad comments about where he is, with whom he communicates, and about your feelings about what is happening and the relationship in general. Anything you type and don't send will benefit your relationship, and the more you unleash your obsession online, the sooner it becomes clear to everyone (not just your partner) that you have unhealthy boundary issues. Instead, give each other more free space online, keep your online conversations short and easy, leaving serious conversations for face-to-face conversations.
   • Quit following him on VK / Facebook / Twitter. Do you really need to keep abreast of all your partner's updates? Read something else, like a good book!
8. 8 Stop sitting and waiting for this person to get in touch, and you can move on. How do you feel when your partner doesn't call or text you? If in response you recall anger or sadness, if you usually give up all your affairs and begin to come up with excuses for this silence, then you are obsessed with this person, and forgot to live your own life. Never comfort yourself with the thought that your partner is sitting and bored thinking about you. The reality is that even if you are just an incredibly beautiful person, your partner is most likely busy with his own life. If he is interested in you, he will take the initiative and contact you. If this does not happen, then he is busy with his worries, or it seems to him that you talked enough the last time, or he has things that do not involve holding hands. None of the above foreshadows parting - it all only reflects the normal human way of life.
   • If your partner doesn't make contact because they don't care too much about you, or does something that makes you suspect cheating, this is not a reason to become obsessed. This is an excuse to find another partner!
9. 9 Deal with the missing pieces in your personality. If you lack confidence, self-respect, fear the future, or are still struggling with the results of a dysfunctional upbringing, seek appropriate help. If you don't find a healthy way out of the situation and come up with ways to deal with all this mess in your head, the risk is high that you will use your partner as a means of relieving your condition and solving internal problems. Work on self-esteem, learn to deal with feelings of loneliness, and start finding social connections outside of romantic relationships. In this case, you are developing self-esteem, rather than trying to catch it from other people (which, of course, will not work!).
   • If you feel that you "need" a partner, take it as a warning signal and look inward. Nobody "needs" a partner; we all need healthy social relationships, support and love, but a partner is just one of many ways to get it. Certainly, many want them to have a loved one, but an urgent need for him should not become a reason that pushes you to communicate with anyone. Love is a choice, not an obligation. Remember this and choose wisely.
   • The irony is that the more you care for yourself and others, the better your chances of attracting someone who will love you with deep, genuine love. Striving to be a good person and caring for people in general makes anyone more attractive.
10. 10 Leave the relationship if you don't feel love. No amount of obsession and obsession will make a person love you. A common cliché “If you love, let it go; if he loves, he will return ”as nowhere else is more appropriate in a situation where the fate of the relationship has not yet been determined. Make it clear to your partner that you love him, but still, do not tolerate love out of condescension, bad or rude attitude, and self-treatment. Tell the person that they shouldn't expect you to be tolerant of this behavior. If your obsession is due to your partner's misbehavior or treatment, it can be really difficult for you to deliver such an ultimatum and follow through; in this situation it turns out that you are holding onto something that is simply harmful to you. You do not deserve inferior love or a hint of love - you are worth true devotion and sympathy. So relax and see what happens. If true love is not foreseen, consider yourself a free person.

Tips

• It's worth remembering that no matter what you do, some people won't give you the attention you want.Take this as a sure sign that your relationship has no future, or that the two of you just have different levels of needs. In the latter case, you have the right to consider all the circumstances of further attempts to maintain the relationship and the expediency of these efforts.
• "What if ..." is a trick that slows you down. Let go. Some things just may not work perfectly, if not at all. At least you tried; it's better than regretting not even trying.
• Loneliness is often a major cause of obsession. In response to this, you should fill your life with communication with people - volunteering will help you here (if you really do not have acquaintances and friends).
• Work on building a group of friends to support you in times of need. You should always have a company of people you can turn to for help if needed.
• Keep a notebook handy. Write down your thoughts and feelings. After a while, return to what you wrote and re-read to see what patterns of behavior are inherent in you. This will help you avoid recurring unhealthy relationship habits.
• Don't you have a single friend? Get out of the house and do something that gives you the opportunity to meet new people who don't have friends either. You need each other, and you can provide mutual support.
• Talk to someone if your obsession is hurting you. Dealing with this alone is difficult and by no means necessary!
• Look for friendship first. It can bring you a lot more fun and excitement than a bad relationship. Friendship usually lasts longer than falling in love!

Warnings

• If you are depressed and dropped out of your daily life as a result of your obsession, seek professional help. If you have thoughts of suicide, call the helpline, choosing a number in accordance with the district and city of residence - for example, on the website http://ratepp.ru/load/ or on another Internet resource.
• Obsession can be a bad habit - a reflex reaction that makes you forget about yourself. Beware of these trends.