Author:
Robert Simon
Date Of Creation:
20 June 2021
Update Date:
12 May 2024
Content
It is easy for us to unintentionally judge others without knowing it. You may think that you know how people should look, think and act. Often you will be comfortable with the thought that you understand everything, but a judgmental attitude can prevent you from making friends and trying new things. Fortunately, you can learn to be less judgmental by changing your outlook, widening your eyes and keeping an open mind.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Change view
Positive thinking. A negative thought can lead to judgmental thoughts. Try to look at the positive aspects of all situations instead of just paying attention to the negative ones. When you find yourself having negative thoughts in mind, fight back and work hard to find something better.
- You can still be realistic when you think positively. There is no need to ignore the negative aspects, but do not focus solely on them.
- Don't get discouraged when there are bad days. Forgive yourself if there are times when you feel sad and have bad thoughts.
- A positive attitude can improve your life in many ways!
Separate people's actions and personalities. Sometimes you see people doing unacceptable things like stealing other people's lunch money or interrupting people. Although their actions are wrong, you should not judge them based on a single action. Maybe they have positive qualities you haven't seen yet.- Think of their immediate actions may be pushed by some circumstances that you do not understand. For example, that person may steal someone else's lunch because they have nothing in their stomachs for two days.
Be aware every time you are judging someone. Stop the germ of judgment in the first place by being aware of when you have negative thoughts about others. When you find yourself criticizing someone silently, ask yourself if the thoughts are of any use to you or for them. Then replace it with a compliment.- For example, you might find yourself thinking, "That girl needs to lose weight." Resist the idea, wondering what this has to do with you. Next, talk about an advantage you noticed, such as, "You have a very pretty smile!"
Put yourself in someone else's shoes. Each person is a unique individual with different talents, skills, personalities, and life experiences. In addition, people shape personality from upbringing, including where they grow up, how they are treated and their living conditions. As you get to know another person, try to imagine yourself in that person's position. Even if you may not have the same options as them, accept that they have the right to make their own decisions.- For example, the person you think is clingy or annoying may be experiencing childhood without parental arms. Or you think someone has no education, but maybe they are prioritizing making money to support their family.
Find common ground. Every time you find out that you are trying to judge someone who is not like you, look at the common points instead of the differences. Everyone has something in common, because we are all human! This will help you see them in positive light instead of the dull judgmental image.
- Evoke a few topics until you find something you both can talk to and care about. You will find that the other person is not that different from you.
Grateful for what you have. Thank you for the good things in your life, especially the things that have helped you achieve what you currently have. Appreciate your friends, loved ones, your health, the opportunities, the relationships, and the way you were raised. Understand that not everyone has what you have, so it's unfair to judge people because they don't live like you.
- If you feel like you want to blurt out something negative about someone, take a deep breath and wish them all the luck you have in life.
Show kindness. Compassion is the opposite of judgment. Instead of criticizing and thinking badly about others, try to empathize with them and visualize their thoughts and feelings. It won't be easy for you to switch from thinking negatively about others to wishing them the best, but this transition is not impossible. Focus on giving others what they need and helping them rather than just giving them the worst.
- Compassion is also the key to finding happiness. If you want to be a more compassionate person, you will have to feel positive about everyone and about the world around you.
Method 2 of 3: Extend the horizons
Cultivate curiosity. Curiosity is a great way to overcome judgmental attitudes. Instead of having the usual critical thoughts, explore your curiosity about something you don't already know. Try to look at the possibilities instead of just focusing on what's wrong or the difference.
- For example, you might see a person cut in front of a lunch counter. Instead of criticizing them for being rude, think that they may be in a hurry to go to an important appointment or have some health problem.
Step out of your comfort zone. Proactively look for new experiences that are different from what you normally do. Early experiences can be quite intimidating, but they can also be fun! You can invite some friends to try something new together! Here are a few ways to get out of your comfort zone:
- Commuting to work by other means of transportation.
- Try a new dish you've never tasted.
- Watch a movie with subtitles.
- Attend a religious ceremony that is different from your faith.
- Do something that feels frightening like standing on top of a building, climbing a mountain, or eating raw fish.
Play with different groups of people. You will have the opportunity to open your mind if you try to interact with people who are not like you in many ways.Whether your friends differ by race, culture, religion, interests, ideology, hobbies, profession or whatever, being with people from many backgrounds and interests Diversity scores can help you better understand the different opinions of the world.
- You don't have to make friends with people from many different backgrounds and backgrounds, but you should try to get to know people who are not exactly like you. You will only really grow through experience.
- Making friends with someone you've always thought you don't have in common will give you a chance to be more understanding and open-minded.
- Tell your friends that you'd like to join the events if they invite them. You could say, “Your family from Japan is wonderful. I really like Japanese culture. Any event, can you tell me about it? "
Attend an event that you don't normally find interesting. Choose an activity that you would normally consider boring, stupid, or silly. Please challenge yourself to step in and join. Try to learn something new! Once you join, you have the opportunity to meet new people, understand new perspectives and do something to help open your mind.
- For example, you might attend a poetry reading session, a salsa dance class, or a political gathering.
- Talk to people in those places and try to get to know them. If there is a moment when you suddenly want to judge someone, imagine how you would feel if they were judging you, especially when you are often not in their situation.
Travel as much as possible. These trips will help you widen your eyes and see the lives of many people everywhere. If you don't have a lot of money, you can visit nearby cities or arrange a trip to another province for the weekend. The important thing here is that you will find that there are countless ways to live in this world, and no way to say or do is completely correct.
- You can save money while traveling by staying in hostels.
- Aim to travel at least once a year. You will have a chance to get out of your comfort zone and meet a variety of people.
- You can also try "virtual travel". Choose a travel book about remote destinations and immerse yourself in the pages. Go even further by watching a movie set there.
Go to a friend's house to play one day. You will find that other families have a different lifestyle than your own. Even if you and them have many of the same activities, there are many differences. This is completely normal!
- Ask friends to take you to special events, such as a cultural activity or a religious ceremony. However, do not force them to let you in if they are not comfortable with it.
Learn something from everyone you meet. Everyone has a value in your life because they all bring useful lessons. Ask yourself what you can learn from each person, whether it's a knowledge, skill or a lesson about yourself.
- For example, a person from another culture can share with you their knowledge about their customs. Similarly, someone with artistic talent can show you a new skill.
- You also need to be kind and share with others. Be the proactive one to open up and share.
Ask many questions. This will help you get to know people about their homeland better. You can also expand your understanding of diverse contexts, cultures and customs.
- If you want to know someone honestly, you will have to learn more about their situation. You might ask questions like: Do you have a sibling? Where are you from? What are you studying? What do you live by? What do you like to do on the weekends?
- Don't force the other person to answer your questions. However, your concern can help them open up to you.
Method 3 of 3: Keep an open mind
End the habit of insisting yourself right. Everyone has his or her own views on how the world should function, and many times those views are contradictory. Regardless of whether you act on the knowledge you have learned or not, your outlook is still based on your values. Everyone is like you, so accept that they may not agree with you.
- Next time you engage in a debate, remember that the other person can have a valuable opinion.
- Focus on sharing your point of view instead of trying to change other people's thinking.
- Remember that most situations are complex and cannot be judged as "right" or "wrong" - there are many shades of gray between black and white.
Form your own opinion. Ignore the gossip and negative information you hear about a person, a certain culture, and so on. Resist prejudice before making conclusions about a person or a group. Don't let yourself get lost in wrong information.
- Remember that everyone has their own motivations when they spread gossip or defamation. For example, people may speak ill of someone out of jealousy, or they may share concerns about an unfamiliar concept out of fear.
- Think about the times you've been the victim of rumors. Do you want people to judge you based on that rumor?
Do not judge people by appearance. It is true that people often express themselves in the way they dress, but this does not mean that you can fully understand a person by their appearance. Similarly, there are many different types of people in the world with different lifestyles.
- For example, do not take the stereotype that someone with lots of tattoos and body piercing cannot have a professional job.
- Next time you go out, look at yourself in the mirror. What will people think of you based on how you look that day? Are they right or wrong?
Stop "labeling" other people. You cannot fully understand a person by the traits you attribute to them. In fact, this also limits your perception of that person. Try to see each person as an individual. Learn to ignore their looks or the people they hang out with, and focus on understanding their own story before making a conclusion.- For example, don't call others the type of eccentric, nerd, martial artist, etc.
Try not to judge others. Let people show who they are instead of assuming you already know. You're just seeing a tiny side of each person you meet, and if you judge it, it's just a tiny slice. Your outlook may change as you get to know them more.- Accept everyone in their own way.
- Is it fair to be judged on you by just five minutes of talking to you? How much did that person really understand you in that short amount of time?
Give others more opportunities. Sometimes there are people who upset you, but don't attribute the worst to them. Do you have days when you didn't do your job well enough? Don't rush to accuse others and don't let negative thoughts come up.- For example, maybe the person is having an unfortunate day when you meet them. Likewise, shy people may be viewed as aloof or arrogant at first.
Don't murmur behind someone's back. Gossip helps spread malicious rumors and causes people to judge each other without knowing the truth behind it. Plus, if you're famous for gossip, people will just come to you to gossip with gossip, but no one really believes you.- Next time you are about to open your mouth to say a negative thing about someone, turn around and say something positive. Instead of saying "Did you know that An went out with Chien all night yesterday?" Please say: “Do you know that An has a talent for drawing? You should see his paintings one day! ” Think how much more comfortable you feel about spreading the good news.
Advice
- Remember that everyone is different, and that makes this world more interesting!
Warning
- Focus on your own life instead of imposing on others.
- Judgment can really hurt others as well as hurt yourself.
