Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Dealing with the moment of disappointment
• Method 2 of 3: Redesign your perspective
• Method 3 of 3: Continue

Disappointment is an inseparable part of life. Everyone will face setbacks from time to time in their personal life and career. Coping well with disappointment is important for success and personal happiness. Try to develop coping strategies as soon as possible after a disappointment. Then work on reframing your perspective and move on with your life.

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Method 1 of 3: Dealing with the moment of disappointment

1. Experience your emotions. It is important to experience your emotions immediately after the disappointment. When dealing with difficult things in life, it is vital to recognize your emotional response, even if it is painful or troublesome.
   • Even if your emotions are annoying when a disappointment comes along, it is still important not to resist.Your emotional response is an important tool when it comes to processing and dealing with disappointment. Emotions provide insight into what the event meant to you.
   • Your emotions may be negative in principle. You may be angry, sad, frustrated, and discouraged. Don't stop experiencing these emotions, but do remind yourself that they are temporary. Don't try to analyze your thoughts. Just let them run wild and silently, in your mind, acknowledge that they are there. It can help to name the thoughts as they pass by. For example, "Right now I feel angry. Right now I feel scared."
2. Give yourself time to grieve. It is unnatural to immediately get back up after a disappointment. You need time to mourn what could have been, to process the disappointment.
   • It is very normal to feel regret after disappointment. There will be an unpleasant gap between what you wish would happen and reality. It is important that you recognize this gap.
   • Record your feelings in a log. Many people who have to deal with setbacks, such as a breakup or dismissal, find that they recover more quickly from the negative feelings if they immediately catch them by writing about them. Take 5 to 10 minutes to freely write about your feelings.
   • Your feelings and thoughts don't necessarily have to be rational while grieving. In principle, you may look at things in a rather black and white way. Keep in mind (when confronting your feelings) that they are not an objective analysis of the situation. While it is okay to feel what you are feeling, still remind yourself that your emotional response does not define you as a person.
3. Be nice to yourself. Many people tend to be hard on themselves when faced with disappointment. It's important to be nice to yourself after a rejection. Try to pull yourself out of the loop of self-blame and hating yourself.
   • For example, if a relationship hasn't worked, your first instinct may be to blame yourself. If you have not been hired for a vacancy, you may have done so because of your shortcomings. The fact is that sometimes people just don't fit together. Sometimes, even if you are a qualified, talented worker, you may not meet what a company needs.
   • In the aftermath of a disappointment, it's important not to resort to thoughts that belittle yourself. Try to be nice to yourself. Try to look at the situation in an objective way and how you can change and improve yourself. However, do this through a lens of compassion rather than harsh judgment. Remind yourself that this setback does not define you and that you are allowed to make mistakes.
4. Talk it out. Bottling up emotions after disappointment is unhealthy. Find a friend or family member who cares about you and talk to them about your feelings. Choose someone who is a good listener and who does not have an immediate judgment. Emphasize that you are not waiting for advice, but that you are trying to list your feelings.

Method 2 of 3: Redesign your perspective

1. Don't take the disappointment personally. People are naturally inclined to view negative events in life as a result of personal shortcomings. You may think that your coworker doesn't want to go out with you because of the flaws in your character. You may think the magazine rejected your short story because you were a bad writer. In reality, there are an infinite number of factors that influence a given situation.
   • Good luck is rooted in luck. You can only control a certain situation to a certain extent. Even if you do everything right, things can still go wrong. Blaming yourself limits your way of looking at a situation. If you find yourself attracting disappointment personally, remind yourself that you can never know all the variables of a given situation. It can help to say to yourself, "I don't know. I don't know."
   • For example, say you are unhappy because your niece canceled a visit at the last minute. Your first tendency may be to wonder if you've said something wrong that will cause her to respond. But your niece has 2 jobs in a city 300 km away, has a boyfriend, a social life and is very active in her neighborhood. There are many different factors that can make it impossible for her to take the trip. If she hasn't given you an explicit reason why she can't come, then you don't know why this event didn't work out in your favor. Take a moment to consider all the factors that may be involved and remind yourself that this disappointment probably isn't a personal thing.
2. Put your personal rules in a new frame. People often have rules they make for themselves. For example, you may have in your mind a list of requirements that must be met in order to feel satisfied, happy, and successful. While it is good to have an idea of ​​what you want with your life, sometimes circumstances are unfavorable for you and you cannot control them. When disappointment arises, reconsider the demands you place on yourself and ask yourself if they are really realistic.
   • What do you think you need to be happy? Do you need a job, a perfect social life and a life partner (preferably all at the same time) to be satisfied? In reality, it may not be possible to control all of these factors. If you are convinced that you have to meet a certain standard in order to be happy, you may react more strongly to disappointment.
   • People often make demands beyond their control as a measure of happiness and satisfaction. For example, you may see having a boyfriend or girlfriend as a measure of personal success. However, romance is extremely difficult to control. You can't force yourself to find the right person.
   • Try to let go of some of your demands. Accept that life means that you often live under less than ideal circumstances. Try to make demands for your personal happiness that you can control. For example, something like, "I'm happy when I try my best."
3. Examine your own expectations. Take a look at your expectations in a particular situation. You may have set yourself unrealistic goals or requirements within that situation. This can easily lead to disappointment.
   • You may set very high standards for yourself. You may expect to reach your dream job by a certain age, or to have a healthy and active social life right after moving to another city. You may also make unreasonable demands on the people around you. You may find that your friends should never be late for the cinema, even if it is only a few minutes. You may find that your girlfriend should always go out with you on the weekend, even if she has plans with friends. Take a moment to consider whether your expectations about a situation are realistic.
   • Adjust your expectations to deal with disappointment. Suppose you are disappointed because your friend was 5 minutes late for the movie theater outing due to a traffic jam. Take a moment to look at the situation more objectively. The fact is that we cannot control other people's actions. If you want an active social life, people will occasionally be late. The next time you meet up to go to the movies together, try to accept that being late is a risk, but it doesn't have to get in the way of having a good time.
4. Strive for optimism. When you have to deal with a particularly severe disappointment, it can be quite a challenge to remain optimistic. However, it is important to strive for optimism in the aftermath of disappointment. This can help you recognize that adversity is not the end of the world and help you keep going.
   • Look for new opportunities that the situation offers. It is also good to see the situation as a learning experience. What lessons can you draw from this experience? What can you do better next time? Life is a process of growth, change and adjustment based on your experiences. Disappointments are frustrating, but they help you to grow.
   • Remember that a bad time does not mean a bad life. You can increase your chances of insuring things by learning from the negative. For example, suppose you were rejected from a job due to lack of experience. You can see this as an opportunity to work on improving your CV. Volunteer, freelance work, start your own projects, such as setting up a blog related to your field. Maybe you will be offered a better and better paying job within three months or so. Although being turned down for the first job was a disappointment, you would never have made the effort to improve yourself if that disappointment had not occurred.
5. Look at the big picture. Self-reflection is essential for your psychological health. After you have experienced disappointment, look at what happened around that event. How are you growing and changing based on that experience? What has it learned about yourself? Try to look beyond the moment itself. Rather, think of it as a series of events that are shaping you as a person.
   • If you are having a hard time seeing the big picture, consider talking to a therapist. A licensed therapist can help you understand your emotions and evaluate things in a healthy and productive way.

Method 3 of 3: Continue

1. Try a different approach. Disappointment is important because it can push you in the direction of productive change. If something turned out unfavorable to you, consider this disappointment as an opportunity to reassess your approach.
   • While there are several factors that can contribute to your success or failure, it is important to understand which factors you can control. In this way, you can change your approach to achieving success. If you are unable to sell more at work, you may need to work on your interpersonal communication skills. If necessary, follow an online marketing course. If you're struggling to find new friends in a new city, maybe it's time to expand your network. Try to get more involved in your neighborhood. Register as a volunteer for an organization that appeals to you.
   • Don't forget to keep putting things in perspective. It is important to be self-aware enough to know how much control you have over a given situation. However, also recognize what is beyond your control. You can strive to better prepare for your new interview, but this does not automatically mean that you will get the job.
2. Rededicate yourself to your goals. View disappointment as a setback and not a disaster. Take a few days to remind yourself of your goals and passions. This can help you strengthen your decision making and let go of the disappointment.
   • What do you ultimately want from life? Write down your goals or declare them out loud to yourself. Remind yourself why these things are important to you. In what way do they reflect your values ​​and passions?
   • Disappointment can be valuable. If you are feeling particularly depressed, this can serve as a reminder of how important your goals are to you. If an unfulfilled goal didn't mean a lot to you, you wouldn't be really disappointed.
3. Learn to be determined. Determination is as important to success as pure talent or intelligence. Think of disappointment as an opportunity to force yourself to outperform. Remind yourself that persistence is vital to success in any field. When disappointment arises, develop a strategy to work harder and strive for greater success. Take a few days to mourn the disappointment and then make a commitment to work more intensively towards your goals.