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• Method 1 of 2: Tolerate bossy people
• Method 2 of 2: Defend yourself against bossy people

Dominating people can make your professional and personal life miserable. To avoid getting into a submissive role, or when you find yourself in the thick of it, learn to encourage respectful relationships and say "no." You can deal with bossy people by tolerating them or standing up for yourself.

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Method 1 of 2: Tolerate bossy people

1. Recognizing who is boss versus who is bossy. Very often the two are completely confused, which can lead to problems when you cannot distinguish between who you should and who you should not obey.
   • A boss has authority over you: a police officer, parent, teacher, manager, the director of your school theater, the chairman of the robotics club. These are people who somehow have authority and responsibility that you must respect.
   • Bossy people tend to want to lead and speak to others with a lot of authority, but are not actually in charge of you: a friend, sister, the person on the bus who always has an opinion about everything.
   • In early childhood we are often conditioned to obey, please others, and listen to directions. Some personalities do that before others. However, it is important to recognize that you do not have to accept the assignment, opinion or suggestion unless an individual has an actual responsibility over you.
2. Take a moment to cool down. Refuse to respond angrily to the person. Recognize that people often try to direct other people because of feelings of insecurity or helplessness.
3. Don't be passive aggressive. Rolling your eyes or sighing will build tension, rather than lessen it. When your acting reacts angrily, but still lets the person direct you, then you may be putting yourself in a childlike role.
   • If you find yourself reacting the way you might have as a teen, reconsider your response. It will not improve your relationship with the person or make you happier.
4. Let it go. If you know that the person is stressed or going through a difficult time, ignore the behavior. This is only a good option if you don't encourage the person to treat you disrespectfully on a regular basis.
5. Refuse to accommodate someone who is pressuring you. Avoid an immediate "Yes" or "Whatever you want" when they try to tell you what to do.
   • If you've ever owned a pet, you may have learned a thing or two about negative affirmation. We notice when someone immediately agrees to our demands.
6. When someone tries to command you, try humor. If someone tells you what to do, you can say, `` It sounds like you want to do my job for me '' or `` Did you get a promotion and didn't tell me? '' Only use this method if you can do it lightly to keep.
   • A humorous response will act as a warning that the bossy behavior has not gone unnoticed.
7. Ask your manager to clarify the hierarchy when you start a new project. If you have had problems with certain people in the past, ask for the structure of leadership to be included in official project documents.
   • If the person is still trying to push you around, you can say "The project leader and I have discussed the best way to do this. If you think it should be done in a different way, we can discuss it in a team meeting. "
8. Recognize when you start to feel like a victim. Letting someone dominate for too long can create feelings of resentment and humiliation that can destroy a relationship. When this happens, the person is dominating or trying to direct you, and it is best to use the following method.

Method 2 of 2: Defend yourself against bossy people

1. Say no. Take a deep breath and refuse to go along with what the person is proposing.
2. Refuse as respectfully as possible. This is especially important if you are talking to an authority figure, such as a boss or parent. However, don't apologize for your refusal.
   • Say something like, "In this case, I don't agree with you" or "No, I don't think that's the best way to do this."
   • If you refuse confidently and respectfully, the person will likely be sidelined and accept your point of view.
3. Expect some opposition. Some bossy people like confrontation. If this is the case and they respond badly to your refusal, try to stay calm.
   • Say something like, "I understand you want to do it that way, but in this case, I can't go along with it."
4. Let it rest. After you have expressed your opinion and responded calmly, refuse to argue about it. The other person may feel uncomfortable with your silence and resign or leave.
5. Tell them they are disrespectful. Sometimes bossy people have thought things through and have good ideas. If you actually agree with them, but feel like you're being bullied around in a rude way, you can take a different path.
   • Respond with something like, "I think it's a good idea, but it's disrespectful if you talk to me like that."
   • Otherwise, say something like, "I think this is the best way to fix it, but I don't appreciate it if you're rude to me."
   • This is another way of standing up for yourself, without being dismissed as emotional or childish.
6. If they refuse to respond to these methods, distance yourself from the person for a moment. Someone who is always disrespectful or tries to direct everything you do can be a destructive force in your life.
   • Try a more serious position, such as, "I don't like the way you treat me."
   • At work, say something like, "I think we need to work separately on this project. I can't work well with someone who thinks they can micromanage me. "