Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 4: Taking care of your emotional health
• Method 2 of 4: Cultivating hobbies
• Method 3 of 4: Social survival
• Method 4 of 4: Choose to find friends

If you don't have friends in high school or college, it's all too easy to get discouraged and sad, especially when you're surrounded by outgoing people with busy social lives. While life without friends can be tough at times, you don't need a large social circle to be happy and productive. You can also get through your school years without friends, developing fun hobbies, or finding other ways to meet your social needs and improve your emotional health.

To step

Method 1 of 4: Taking care of your emotional health

1. Think about why you have few or no friends. There can be various reasons for this. Take the time to research it. Also keep in mind that you can choose to change your situation and start looking for friends if you wish. Some questions you may want to ask yourself to understand why you don't have friends at the moment are:
   • Have you recently undergone a significant change? Going to college or moving to another city can be part of the reason you don't have friends yet. An argument with friends can also lead to isolation. Have you recently lost a friend or group of friends for some reason?
   • Are you naturally introverted? If you prefer to spend time alone rather than with other people, you may be an introvert. If so, not having friends may be caused by a preference for seclusion. However, you can still have friends and still maintain your seclusion.
   • Have you been struggling with emotional issues lately? If you've been feeling down for a while and unable to motivate yourself to get out and see people, this could also be part of why you don't have friends. If so, it is important to seek help. Talk to your school counselor, someone in your campus counseling center, or a trusted adult, such as a parent, teacher, or pastor in your religion.
2. Accept yourself as you are. It is important to accept yourself as you are now. Realize that there is nothing wrong with being shy, different, or just not very open. Your worth as a person isn't determined by how many friends you have, so don't let anyone make you feel bad about yourself.
   • If you are the subject of ridicule among colleagues, stand up for yourself. Don't get physical, but let people know you're not a pushover.
   • If you want to make more friends in the future, accepting yourself as you are now is an important first step in the right direction.
3. Decide if you actually want to become more social. Despite what society and other people will often tell you, it's totally okay if you prefer to spend time alone. There's nothing wrong with being calm, introverted, and reserved. If you decide you don't mind not having close friends, don't let anyone tell you that your preference is wrong.
   • However, keep in mind that being alone all the time isn't healthy either. You may not feel the need to exercise as socially as other people, but some degree of socialization is healthy.
4. Consider whether you have social anxiety or some other condition. If people make you nervous, ask yourself if social anxiety could be a reason for making friends. Other conditions such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, ADHD, and autism can also make friendships difficult.
   • If you think you have a mental illness, ask your parents to see a doctor or therapist with you.
5. See a counselor or therapist. If you are constantly feeling sad or hopeless, talk to your school counselor or a therapist. They can help you get to the bottom of your feelings and develop strategies to get by in social life.

Method 2 of 4: Cultivating hobbies

1. Get creative. Use your free time to learn a creative skill, such as drawing, writing, sewing, or sculpting. If you're more focused on engineering than art, get into editing photos in a program like Photoshop or coding your own video games. Creativity gives you an outlet for your emotions, and your skills may even help you find a job one day.
2. Get some exercise. Exercising is a great solitary hobby that improves your mood and self-esteem, as well as your health. If you don't want to participate in a sports team, run, cycle, or swim. You can also join a gym and work out with weights, or use the cardio machines.
   • If you want to train with someone, you can ask a family member to play soccer or tennis with you, or take your dog for a long walk.
   • Joining a sports team can be a little intimidating for you, but also a great way to meet new people.
3. Explore your city. You don't need a group of friends to get out of the house and enjoy yourself. If there's a museum in the area you've never visited, or a new restaurant you'd like to visit, treat yourself to a solo day out. you can also go to the cinema, shop at your favorite store, or just take a stroll through a park on a nice day.
   • If you can, consider a change of scenery by taking the bus or train to another city for a day trip.
4. Learn a new skill. Engage yourself by learning something you've always wanted to master. For example, learn a new language, work on your cooking skills, or take a free online course on a topic that interests you. You will feel good about yourself when you see progress, and your skill may be useful in the future as well.

Method 3 of 4: Social survival

1. Be polite and considerate. You don't have to be good friends with everyone, but it's smart to stay on good terms with your peers and teachers. Use good manners in your daily life and treat other people the way you want them to treat you.
   • When you treat other people well, the people around you have nothing to use against you and it eventually becomes easier to make friends, if you want to.
2. Join a club or group of something that interests you. High school and university offers many opportunities to participate in interesting activities. Look for programs offered by your school or community center. A great way to stay connected with other people without becoming close friends is to join a club or group.
   • For example, you can participate in a science club, a book club or a sports club.
   • You can also search Meetup.com for people who share your interests.
3. Get a pet. Animals can be wonderful companions, especially dogs. Some people even think that animals are better friends than people. If you don't have a pet yet, ask your parents if you can adopt one.
   • Consider adopting a dog or cat from a shelter. It is often difficult to find a good home for these animals, but they can make very loyal pets.
   • Having a dog can also help you connect with someone when you go for a walk with your dog. For example, someone may compliment you on your dog, and this could be a good opportunity to start a conversation, such as by saying, "Thank you!" Do you have a dog yourself? "
   • A dog or cat can also give you something to talk about with neighbors or new acquaintances. For example, if someone is bringing their pet, you could say, "Hey, I recently got a cat / dog myself. I really enjoy the company. "Then you can show a picture of your pet and talk to the other about your pets.
4. Work as a volunteer. Search job sites and online volunteer sites for positions that interest you. Work and volunteering are good ways to get involved in society and interact with other people on a regular basis.
   • Start small. Even a job at McDonald's or Starbucks will help you save money for the future.
   • Volunteering for a cause you care about will make you feel good and the experience will give you an edge when you are looking for a job or applying to study.
5. Practice your social skills. If you don't hang out with friends often, your social skills may be a bit rusty. Look for practice opportunities to introduce yourself to people, engage in conversation, and put those around you at ease.
   • If you're not sure why you don't have friends and you know your social skills are a bit rusty, this could be a possible explanation. However, keep in mind that rusty social skills often characterize a deeper problem, such as the fear of rejection. Talk to an adult you trust, such as a parent or teacher, about why you have trouble socializing with others.

Method 4 of 4: Choose to find friends

1. Be interested. If you want to make friends, there are a few tips you can follow to increase your chances of success. In general people like to talk about themselves. So a rule of thumb is that you can connect with people by asking them questions about themselves.
   • Ask open questions that allow the other person to say as much as they want, as opposed to questions that lead to simple "yes" or "no" answers. You might ask at an event, "Hey, where do you know whoever is hosting this party?" Or "What kinds of things do you do in your spare time?"
2. Be an active listener. In addition to being able to start a conversation and get people talking, you also need to become an active listener. Occasionally use eye contact, nods of agreement, and sounds to encourage the person to continue talking.
   • Engaged listeners are good friends, as people often want to share their problems or points of view. Practice being fully engaged while listening and being ready to respond with a summary of what you just heard.
   • For example, you could say, "It sounds like you've had a really rough day" to summarize when the speaker has finished speaking.
3. Share something personal. Vulnerability is a necessary and truly wonderful ingredient in a friendship. Airing your heart out is one of the many things that distinguish friends from acquaintances. You would tell your friend about your parent's divorce, but not share that info with any random person. Tell something small, but personal to show the other person that you trust him / her.
   • Think of something small that you can share with the other person about yourself, such as "I had quite a restless time last school year. My parents got divorced. "Then look at how the other deals with it to determine how far the friendship goes.
4. Risk it being rejected. If you are ready to actually befriend someone, you have to be willing to take a risk. If you and a potential friend have been hanging out in the same group, invite them to do something together. This shows that you want to get to know the other person outside of the group.
   • For example, say something like, "Hey, I think we're on the same page. Shall we watch a movie on Saturday? "