Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Recognize changes in behavior
• Method 2 of 3: Recognizing emotional signals
• Method 3 of 3: Noticing physical signals
• Warnings

It is frightening to think that a child you know up close may be being mistreated or abused. Especially in babies and toddlers it is difficult to recognize abuse because they cannot or do not want to talk about it yet. Because small children are active and growing, it is often difficult to see what is normal and what could indicate abuse. However, certain behavioral changes can indicate abuse, as can emotionally deviant behavior. Child abuse is sometimes, but very often not physically visible. Be sure to take action if you suspect a child has been abused and contact the authorities for help.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Recognize changes in behavior

1. Watch for sudden changes in behavior. It is quite normal for an abused child to suddenly behave differently. Children who are normally active and happy suddenly become lethargic and withdrawn. Sweet children, for example, become aggressive. Every maltreated child exhibits a certain nervous behavior.
   • For example, you might notice that your neighbor boy used to be very happy, but is now afraid to go out and play.
   • You may even notice behavioral changes in babies and toddlers. For example, they become very picky and overly precise for no apparent reason.
2. Notice when a child suddenly reverts to behavior that he or she is actually too old for. Children become insecure about abuse and maltreatment, so they start behaving like babies or younger toddlers again. For example, a child who is already toilet trained will pee in his pants again. Other children insist on having a pacifier again, even though they were used to it for a long time.
3. Be aware if a child is overly good or very demanding. Small children normally want to please adults, but at the same time test their limits. Abused children, on the contrary, look for the extremes. They become either overly good or very demanding.
   • If you have a child in your group who gets into a fit of anger every time an adult asks something, that's a good reason to be concerned.
4. Watch for changes in diet. It is quite normal for small children to be fussy eaters.However, if a child eats very differently for no apparent reason (such as illness or growing pains), this could be an indication that there is more to it. Also watch for sudden weight loss or gain.
   • When looking after a child who is being abused or mistreated, you may notice, for example, that he is very thin and does not want to eat at all.
5. Pay attention if you notice that a child has sleeping problems. Babies and toddlers who usually sleep through will wake up every night. Preschoolers talk about nightmares. If you cannot observe the child at night, pay attention to other clues. For example, they are extremely tired and weak due to lack of sleep.
6. Watch for changes at school or at the nursery. Children who are victims are often kept at home for no apparent reason, such as illness or vacation. At the same time they start to behave differently at daycare or at school.
   • After such a long period of absence, ask the parents or guardians why the child was not present. Pay close attention to their response. Do they not want to talk about it or are they making excuses or lies? When they say the child was with the grandparents on the other side of the country, when you know the grandparents live a block away, something is clearly wrong.
   • You may find it scary to confront the parents or guardians about the absence, but it is in the best interest of the child to do it anyway.

Method 2 of 3: Recognizing emotional signals

1. Be mindful if a child seems scared of their delivery men. A small child who is being abused at home may not want to go home. They try to avoid parents or other caregivers. This is expressed, for example, in clinging to the teacher when it is time to go home or when they come in.
   • Mild separation anxiety is normal in babies and toddlers and does not necessarily mean mistreatment or abuse.
   • When a child is afraid of a caregiver, this person may not necessarily be the cause of the fear. It could also be someone else at home or nearby.
   • Talk to the child if you, as a babysitter or in daycare, have a toddler who is afraid of going home. It is very unpleasant to think that a child may be abused or mistreated, but it does not help to pretend that there is nothing wrong. Remember that you are the one who can help the child in some way.
2. Recognize a traumatized child. Abused children do not yet realize what happened to them, but they can, for example, talk a lot about scary or violent events that they want to harm themselves or others.
   • When you babysit a child who constantly tells you how scared his parents will burn him with a cigarette, that's a big red flag.
3. Be wary when children know more about sex than is normal for their age. Sexual development is a long process and starts with very young children. However, if a child has detailed knowledge of sexual acts or constantly talks about sex, it can definitely indicate sexual abuse.
   • Keep in mind that it is very normal for small children to be curious about the differences between boys and girls.
   • If you see, for example, a friend's child reenacting sexual acts in detail, this is cause for great concern. Then investigate what's going on.

Method 3 of 3: Noticing physical signals

1. Recognize unusual injuries. Of course, children constantly have bumps and scrapes that they get while playing. Moreover, with a small child, an accident is always in a small corner, because they are still uncoordinated and cannot oversee their actions. However, if a child has excessive or frequent bumps and bruises, this could be an indication of abuse.
   • For example, you see scars, burns, or other strange spots that look like they were made with an object.
   • Look for injuries that are foreign to babies and toddlers, such as a black eye.
   • Look for suspicious spots when you see them again after a period of absence.
   • Ask the parents or guardians about the cause of the injuries. Do they tell unbelievable excuses, such as burns caused when the toddler went to cook for himself? These are disturbing signs.
   • Keep in mind that in some circles, physical punishment, such as a slap in the face, is still normal and does not immediately mean assault. In the Netherlands, however, any form of corporal punishment is punishable. In the case of cultural differences, it may be necessary to point this out to the parents or guardians.
2. See what the child looks like. Abused children are often neglected as well. For example, their clothes are not clean or too small, or the children are always dirty and grubby.
3. Pay attention if a child has difficulty walking or sitting. Abused children may have suffered physical harm in places they are ashamed of. Often they don't want to talk about it, but problems walking or sitting are a bad sign.
4. Speak to a pediatrician immediately if you suspect child abuse or assault. A pediatrician helps to take care of the injuries, but he or she is also a link in the process to call in the police and child protection. A pediatrician may recommend that you go to the hospital and have a report prepared by the doctors. They can also provide a referral for psychological help for the child to process the trauma.
   • Make sure to give all indications of abuse to the authorities. Therefore, collect pictures of injuries and absenteeism statistics and put the child's statements on paper.
5. Keep the child away from the suspected offender. Keep the child safe and away from the suspect until the authorities are called in and professional help is on the way. Stay calm and correct with the suspected perpetrator and never take matters into your own hands by using threats or violence.

Warnings

• Notify the police immediately if you think the child is in immediate danger.
• Don't be afraid to voice your suspicions. The chance that you are wrong is a much smaller risk than the risk that there is an abused child who will not receive help. The child itself is helpless and has nowhere to go: you are the right person to help this child.
• Abuse and mistreatment occur in all population groups. It doesn't matter what the child looks like or what kind of family it comes from.
• Children are constantly developing physically, mentally and emotionally. So it makes sense that their behaviors and emotional expressions change from day to day. However, take action when you see a consistent pattern of deviant behavior or when there is clear evidence that the child is in acute or structural danger.