Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 5: Get in touch with the person
• Method 2 of 5: Help your friend move on
• Method 3 of 5: Prevent another episode
• Method 4 of 5: Encourage treatment
• Method 5 of 5: Explain the negative consequences

Cutting is a form of self-injury without the intention of suicide. People who cut themselves repeatedly usually experience loneliness or emptiness in their hearts, or have troubled or dysfunctional relationships. People who cut themselves may not be able to handle stress well, may not be able to express their emotions and feelings because of poor communication skills, may have had traumatic experiences, or may have been abused in their lives. This abuse could have been sexual, physical or emotional. If you know someone and think they are cutting themselves, there are ways to help.

To step

Method 1 of 5: Get in touch with the person

1. Make sure you are mentally prepared to help. If you really want to help someone who cuts themselves, it's important to be mentally and emotionally strong before you start. When you help someone who does self-harm, you may have to hear and see very heavy and traumatic things. You must commit to this from the beginning. You cannot decide to stop halfway through the process. You can make the situation worse for him or her if you abandon him or her after sharing his or her pain and experiences with you.
   • Be aware that helping others self-harm may also bring out new feelings for you. You may feel bitter towards the person, develop extreme sympathy for them, or become overly frustrated. When you experience these feelings, remember to balance and control your emotions so that you can be a neutral, loving presence for the other person.
2. Approach your friend with kindness and compassion. If you notice that your friend has cuts on his or her arms, notices a change in his or her clothing, where he or she always covers his or her skin, even when it's hot, or if you have any other reason to Thinking your friend is cutting himself, the best thing you can do is try to help. When you approach your friend, do so in a calm, loving manner. Don't try to accuse him of withholding information, yell at him or her about his or her behavior, or be aggressive in any way. Your friend needs your help as well as your support and understanding, so being accusatory or aggressive will get you nowhere. Instead, approach your friend with compassion and understanding, and let him know that you are there for him.
   • If the person is not ready to acknowledge the problem, accept that he or she may need more time. Still keep an eye on him or her and still be as supportive as you can in other ways so that your friend knows you care about him or her and that you are there. Your friend will come to you when he or she is ready to talk about it.
   • Never give your friend an ultimatum. Always be supportive and positive.
3. Acknowledge his or her emotions. Since most people who cut themselves do so to let their inner emotions out, it will help your friend to know that you acknowledge and understand his or her emotions, or at least have empathy for them. You need to connect with your friend on a personal level to help them, get through to them, and be part of their recovery process. Tell your friend that you understand how overwhelming emotions can be, and that you are sometimes overwhelmed too.
   • You can also take this time to talk about how you vent your emotions without telling your friend how to change his or her ways. This will offer a suggestion of positive ways to express emotions, without cutting, without appearing as an aggressive suggestion to your friend to change his or her life.
   • While you want to show your friend that you empathize, never participate in the cutting of yourself to show your friend that you understand how he or she is feeling. This will only make his or her self-injury worse.
4. Be consistent. Don't go back and forth with your approach to your friend's self-injury. Don't pretend to be suspicious of his or her intentions, emotions, or behavior. If you feel in any way that you can't trust him or her, don't show it. Be there to support your friend and let him or her know you're there. Gaining his or her full trust takes time. If you sometimes approach your friend with a helpful attitude, and at other times you give off a "I don't care" attitude, you can do more damage than it helps you.
5. Don't take control. Don't try to help your friend or loved one by pretending that you are in control of his or her life. Although you want to change his or her self-injuring behavior, you don't have to be in control of everything or control the life of your loved one. Don't be overly strict or overbearing. This can frighten him or her so much that he or she will find you unapproachable.
   • This can also worsen his or her cutting behavior, especially if your loved one uses the cutting to have more control over his or her life or body.
6. Understand that no matter how much you want to help your friend or loved one, you cannot force your friend to recover or change their behavior. To really overcome cutting behavior, your friend must find a way to achieve this themselves.
7. Keep the connection open. You may not be able to reach your friend. If he or she is not mentally in a place where he or she can be helped, then you cannot force him or her to be ready. Make sure you keep the lines of communication open and let him or her know you're there, but that you don't push him or her to listen to you if you've done your best to speak to him or her. If you push too hard, you may push him or her away, and you won't be able to help your friend at all.
   • Try to keep a close eye on your friend in case his or her behavior gets worse. In this case, you may need to recommend professional help to control the self-injury.

Method 2 of 5: Help your friend move on

1. Encourage exercise. Try to encourage your loved one to keep moving as much as possible. When he or she is upset or has a tendency to cut himself or herself, he or she should find a more positive, more active outlet to let those feelings out. Recommend exercising intensively, such as running, dancing, doing aerobics, swimming, tennis, or kickboxing. These exercises can provide an outlet for your friend's grief, aggression, or unhealthy emotions that lead to the cutting. Offer to join your friend and move together.
   • To help calm his or her thoughts, your friend can also try yoga, meditation, or tai chi. These exercises can help him or her start a new chapter in life with a fresh, energetic, and confident approach that will help him or her not want to cut themselves.
   • Movement also releases endorphins in his or her body; the chemicals in the body that make you feel good. When someone cuts within themselves, endorphins travel to the location of the cut and are released into the circulation, causing feelings of relaxation, happiness, and release. Exercise gives your friend a way to positively release endorphins instead.
2. Help your friend increase his or her confidence. Low self-esteem is one reason for people to cut. You need to help your friend understand that cutting cannot or will not improve his or her self-image, but performance will. Help him or her prove to herself that he or she is great and accomplished. This could be through his or her studies, work, friends, or volunteer work. When your friend understands his or her achievements, his or her self-esteem will increase and he or she will feel better about himself. This should result in your friend not wanting to cut himself.
   • You can help your friend realize that he or she has accomplished a lot by listing and sharing his or her positive attributes and achievements.
3. Don't preach. Your friend won't want to change his or her self-harming behavior if you lecture or condescend him or her. Don't try to convince your loved one with sermons that go on for a long time. Keep your talk short and simple. Let the person take in and process the things you have told them. Give him or her time to think about it carefully.
   • Do your little pep talks in places where it is nice, quiet, in nature, away from crowds, and private, where there is little chance that you will be disturbed. If you can't get out in the great outdoors, try a quiet place in your house or a secluded study in your local library. The exact location does not matter, as long as it is somewhere where you can have an honest, undisturbed conversation.
   • Give your friend plenty of time to talk to you. Give him or her the time he or she wants and needs. Don't push your friend to talk faster and always pick a place and time that he or she is comfortable with.
4. Be patient. Your loved one won't stop cutting overnight just because you said so. For him or her, this is the way he or she knows how to deal with feelings. It can be extremely frightening for your friend to be told to stop immediately because he or she may have become so used to this coping mechanism due to lack of alternative coping skills. This can also make things worse for your boyfriend, as you try to eliminate the coping mechanism for his or her pain and trauma. Be patient and accept that this process will take time. Don't feel discouraged by this and take the time to help your loved one.
   • Giving ultimatums without helping or supporting your friend find a safe alternative is not a smart option and can cause more problems than positive change.
5. Recommend reading. People who cut themselves often find it difficult to be social because they may endure suspicious looks and unanswerable interrogations from others. Encourage your friend to read more often to dispel his or her thoughts of cutting and avoid awkward social situations. Books open new perspectives. They can let readers travel through worlds without actually having to go out. It can also teach your friend that there are countless ways people have used to deal with difficult times and experiences.
   • Books also provide an opportunity to understand that there can be more than enough positive and acceptable coping mechanisms. Give your friend thought-provoking books, such as books that will help him or her reflect on himself or herself and reflect on his or her personal situation.
6. Think about recommending a journal. A good way to help your loved one process his or her cutting behavior is to recommend keeping a diary. Tell your friend to keep a daily notebook in which he or she records all of his or her thoughts, pain, and happiness. Writing can take the pain away and make your friend feel relieved. Tell your friend to write about anything that comes to mind.
   • Do not advise your loved one to write specifically about cutting unless he or she is also seeing a therapist or psychiatrist. You never know what might come up as a result, so it's not a good idea to suggest that your friend focus on problematic behaviors that may be used as compensation for trauma unless he or she goes to a professional for help.
   • A diary can also help a psychologist, psychiatrist, or counselor learn about your loved one's symptoms before a diagnosis and treatment plan is made.

Method 3 of 5: Prevent another episode

1. Remove triggering objects. Your friend is much more likely to cut himself or herself when he or she is at home and has easy access to his or her tools. These can be multiple objects, such as razors, knives, scissors, or glass bottles. Encourage your friend to remove these objects from his or her environment so that he or she doesn't tend to cut himself.
   • Sit with your loved one while he or she removes the items from his or her immediate environment. If he or she is not ready to throw the items away, have him or her put the items on a high shelf or in a room on the other side of the house. This will give your friend time to think about what he or she is doing before doing it, which may make your loved one not want to cut themselves.
2. Cheer up your friend. Helping your friend take his or her mind off his or her problems is a good way to help him or her not want to cut themselves. With your friend's permission, try to change his or her environment to help him or her feel better. Take a trip, change the layout and decorations of his or her room, change the color of the walls, or put up some interesting, funny, or inspiring posters. You can also help your friend make choices about the changes he or she wants to make in his or her room and help make those changes. This can be a change to the smell, appearance, or feel of a room.
   • Be part of the process from start to finish. Go shopping with your friend for the new stuff for his or her room, and don't leave your friend until the project is done. Help your friend enjoy the process of welcoming change into his or her life.
3. Provide distraction. It can be particularly difficult to counter the urge to cut when your loved one is home alone with no other things to think about, or when he or she is just concerned with themselves and the painful feelings. Tell your friend to call or look you up when he or she tends to cut himself. Try to get involved with your friend in activities that will distract him or her. Think about his or her interests and hobbies and try to do something with them.
   • If your friend loves nature, take a walk together. If he or she likes to paint, encourage him or her to paint. Your friend can do something creative to help, such as write a story, play an instrument, or draw a picture. He or she may also watch a TV show or movie, listen to music, play a game, or do anything else he or she likes.
   • If you surround your loved one with activities and things that he or she enjoys, he or she will likely be more distracted from his or her behavior and tendency to cut himself.
   • If he or she doesn't go out often, encourage him or her to meet new people, build contacts, and maintain relationships. This can help your friend improve his or her confidence and trust others.

Method 4 of 5: Encourage treatment

1. Suggest seeking professional help. When you first find out that a friend or loved one is self-injuring, find out if he or she is ready to seek professional help from a psychiatrist, psychologist, or counselor. These professionals are specially trained to help people combat damaging behavior. If your friend says he or she isn't crazy, then agree. Tell him or her that people visit mental health professionals for many reasons, often for personal growth. If your friend is concerned about the stigma surrounding seeing a psychiatrist or psychologist, recommend that he or her visit someone who is not working too close. It is a genuine and helpful service that can help your friend with his or her problem. Professionals can better understand why your friend is hurting himself and what he or she is trying to accomplish with it.
   • The involvement of a mental health professional is essential if you are serious about your loved one's recovery. There is sometimes a stigma surrounding seeking help from a psychiatrist or psychologist, but it is still imperative that you convince your loved one to seek treatment.
   • If he or she isn't ready yet, offer to help him or her investigate self-harm and its triggers. There is an abundance of information online on many topics, including self-harm. Make sure to seek information and literature from reliable sources, such as psychological institutions or helpline sites. Some information can be misleading or hinder your loved one's recovery.
2. Encourage your friend to join a support group. A support group consists of people with the same problem, similar concerns, people who deal with similar challenges, and who have had similar experiences. Although you will be working as a one-man support group for a while, your friend may need support from someone who understands exactly what he or she is dealing with. After some time with you, your loved one may gradually build up the courage to meet people who have the same problems to hear their stories, disappointments, success stories in overcoming their cutting habits, and the reasons they may have failed.
   • Your friend may be hesitant or unwilling to join a support group for people who cut themselves.To encourage your loved one, you can go with him or her to give him or her the courage and support he or she needs to take that final step.
3. Think about dialectical behavioral therapy. Dialectical behavioral therapy is one of several effective ways to treat a person who cuts themselves. This is a modified version of cognitive behavioral therapy. In dialectical behavioral therapy, the therapist conducts a thorough analysis of the person who cuts himself. In addition to working with the person seeking treatment, the therapist also tries to include the person's family in therapy so that they can understand and identify the situations and experiences that may have led to the behavior. The therapist also tries to teach the person healthy and acceptable coping mechanisms.
4. Perform an intervention. Interventions are carried out under the guidance of a professional interventionist. This is one of the most effective ways to open up a discussion between the person who is cutting himself and the people who are important in his or her life. It can also be difficult because the painful feelings and emotions surrounding the cutting behavior are exposed during an intervention so that all important people in his or her life can see them. While it helps them understand without worrying about hurting each other, it can be difficult to hear.
   • The professional interventionist plays an important role in halting the cutting behavior. Have a professional interventionist organize an intervention for the person who is cutting himself and his or her loved ones. You can also be one of the participants because you care about the person too.

Method 5 of 5: Explain the negative consequences

1. Explain the scars. Physical traces remain of the cutting. The scars that can be left from the cutting can make your friend feel insecure, which can cause him or her to spend less time with friends or family members due to fear and shame. This can further damage his or her confidence and make him or her less confident, which can exacerbate the tendency to cut. Explain this to him or her and let him or her know that he or she can stop to avoid further scarring.
2. Warn your friend about the health risks. There may come a time when superficial cutting will no longer comfort your friend, which will cause him or her to cut deeper and deeper over time. This can cause serious health problems such as infections. The open wounds from the cut that are left exposed can cause infections and other serious health problems.
   • Your loved one may accidentally cut herself in the wrong place, which could lead to serious blood loss or even accidental death.
3. Watch out for anemia. Continuous cutting episodes can disrupt the functioning of important body parts or organs. This is because the body loses blood during multiple cutting episodes, which can deplete the level of hemoglobin in the blood, causing anemia. Untreated anemia can cause shortness of breath, palpitations, swollen arms and legs, chest pain, heartburn, sweating, and vomiting.
   • In the case of children and young adults, severe anemia can impair motor and mental skills. They may be less attentive, alert, and reactive.
   • Adults with untreated anemia can develop heart problems and may even experience strokes and heart disease. Anemia can also decrease mental abilities.