Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Build your skills
• Method 2 of 3: Finding inspiration
• Method 3 of 3: Use your wit
• Tips
• Warnings

Have you ever been in a discussion that could change your reputation among friends or colleagues, depending on your ability to return a quick response to someone who insulted you or outwitted you? Or, in situations that mattered less, have you never just wished you could give a quick answer? Wise answers require some natural talent, but can also be improved with practice and preparation. You also need to work on being confident and thoughtful if you want to stay on the right side of the fine line between witty and mean.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Build your skills

1. Practice your ability to respond quickly. Not everyone is comfortable with quick decisions, so the art of quick-witted answers may depend on memorizing a few basic answers as a last resort. Don't try to be smart if you simply aren't like that; you run the risk of being made fun of and getting so frustrated with yourself that the attempt is not worth it.
   • Memorization and practice can help you make the most of the abilities you have and this can get you through some good verbal exchanges here and there. Like artists in other fields, the masters of the witty answers seem to have an innate talent in addition to their attitude and preparation.
2. Work on your listening skills. There is no magic formula for developing wit, but improving your listening skills can be of great help. Look at the other and focus on his words and what he means by them. The witty answers are a direct response to what has been said, and do not come from a stock of quips roughly appropriate for the situation.
   • Practice focusing on what is being said instead of letting your mind wander to formulate responses. Try exercises like "verbal volleyball," in which you and a partner take turns making up a story one word at a time - he says a word, you listen carefully and come up with the next word as quickly as you can, and so on.
3. Review previous situations. Try to write your own version of a conversation that you would have liked to be contained in. Replace that last attempt with a better script and work from there to guide your future wit.
   • However, remember that the best reactions are made in the moment, not gathered from similar situations in the past. Use this exercise as inspiration and practice, not as a source for specific responses.
4. Quickly dismiss any insults that come your way. When you think about the insult, you stick to it and let it affect you personally. Instead, you don't focus on the insult, but on responding quickly.
   • The trick to quick answers is speed. Don't analyze the aspects of what has just been said; instead, consider it the game it essentially is, and the insult becomes nothing more than a ball to hit back.
   • For example, if someone ends an insult with “and you stink too”, don't think about your personal hygiene while formulating an answer. Just focus on the words and respond with something like "yes, but at least my stench goes off in the shower, your smelly personality doesn't."
5. Be willing to take apart what someone is saying. Take on the fight and enjoy the confrontation instead of fearing it or watering it down. See the confrontation as an invitation to a game rather than a reason to feel offended. If you simply cannot see these things that way, perhaps the best thing you can do is avoid being caught and do it in a different way.
   • Take the opportunity to point out to the other person any contradictions he tells while trying to show off his wit. Usually that detracts from an insult in the eyes of the offender.
   • Really don't take something apart longer than necessary. If you give too long an answer, the other person may interrupt you with a new response, making your answer irrelevant.
   • For example, if they say it is a waste of time to insult you, you answer, "Well, it is nice to hear that you have not been able to insult me ​​in the past five minutes."
6. Use sarcasm if you can do that well. There is a place for sarcasm if you do it smart and don't overdo it. If someone tries to insult you with a nonsensical comment, you can reply sarcastically and drawlily, "Well, that's an intelligent answer." Brevity is useful here too; a sarcastic but rattling monologue will not have the same effect.
   • Remember that sarcasm also involves good timing and the right tone. Think of Severus Snape in the Harry Potter series or Oscar Wilde, both good practitioners of sarcasm that is succinct and effective.
   • Use sarcasm in a playful way, not to burn someone down completely. Watch your opponent and assess whether they have what it takes to see sarcasm for what it is and not take it too personally.
   • For example, "Oh, that last insult almost made sense. Keep trying."
7. Don't take it too far. The most famous examples of witty answers are invariably short but sweet, and get the job done in one sitting. In most cases, your witty response should be enough to end the case at that point. Continuing to discuss, argue, or raise points will likely weaken the effect of what you have said.
   • It is up to you to change the subject, walk away or continue talking to this person some other time, or imagine that he is no longer there at all. Most importantly, you are on the winning side before moving on.
   • Don't just walk away while being insulted, because that will pretend you can't take it. However, you can stand up for yourself if you need to by saying, "I'll come back when your mood is over so we can continue to swap insults." Thus, it is up to your opponent to behave more appropriately and gives you a dignified way out.
8. Above all, stay calm. Don't get angry or even slightly annoyed. Remember that your opponent's insults are not worth your time or anger. Free yourself from a personal dislike for someone and instead focus calmly and objectively on what has been said. Concentrate on being witty and stick to your resolve to stay calm.
   • Think of it as if you were on the plate against the best baseball pitcher on the other team. Don't focus on whether he's a loser; Calmly focus on the ball and return so that you win the game.
   • Practice looking very calmly, or just amused or dazed, in front of a mirror. Even if you are very angry inside, you are calm on the outside - say this to yourself and your mind will listen to it.
9. Don't try to be witty if you're not ready yet. If you're still learning to be witty, be tactful and diplomatic in the meantime. If you never get caught, at least people will never know you tried and assume you're just being polite!

Method 2 of 3: Finding inspiration

1. Learn from the masters. While there is no doubt that the best witty answers are original witty answers, you can get many good ideas by studying some of the witty people and witty people in history. Spend some time compiling a series of effective answers. Ultimately, if you have more skill, you will be better at responding spontaneously.
   • Take a look at the masters of the witty reactions like Dorothy Parker, Winston Churchill, Mark Twain, Mae West, George Bernard Shaw, Groucho Marx, Oscar Wilde, Margaret Thatcher, and so on.
   • Read the witty altercations between the likes of Ernest Hemingway and William Faulkner, or George Bernard Shaw and Winston Churchill. The interaction between Han and Leia in Star Wars is also satisfactory.
   • Here's a handy example from one of the best sources, Groucho Marx: "I had a great night, but it wasn't this one."
2. Search witty online. There are countless wits for the avid internet surfer. There are websites dedicated to rebuttals, which give example after example (sometimes good, sometimes not so good). Keep a list of your favorites and memorize them. At the very least, they can come in handy if you can't come up with anything at all! Here are some of them:
   • "Thank you for proving me right."
   • "Light goes faster than sound, that's why you seemed like a bright light until you said something."
   • Lean against something, close your eyes and wait a few seconds, then suddenly open your eyes and say "Oh! Sorry! Were you saying something important? I dozed off for a moment."
   • "You and I have so much in common sometimes, don't you?" Use this when insulting your weight, appearance, intelligence, etc.
   • "What did you say? Sorry, I didn't hear you right. Can you say it again?" (An insult is never equally effective the second time around.)
   • "Like attracts like." This one may be a little "bland" right now, but it can still be used in an emergency if you don't know anything.
   • If someone repeats the same insult over and over, use this: "Still holding on to the same idea? Try something ... more original." Then smile a little and walk away.
3. Keep context in mind when collecting witty examples. A witty answer that is a bull's eye in one situation, can be completely wrong in another situation. Read and collect answers that are potentially offensive and hurtful, but don't assume that they can be used on everyone in any situation that is slightly relevant.
   • For example, "Next time you say something, use real words" can be quite harmless in many situations, but can also be much more hurtful to some people. A witty answer should "sting," but not leave lasting wounds.
   • Or, "I won't waste my breath burning you down; I wouldn't even waste my breath if you really burned down." This one may work for someone who knows you well, but it can also get you in trouble. Even vague jokes about violence are not well received by everyone.
4. Let the other party's words and actions speak for themselves. Sometimes a witty answer is not even necessary. If someone continues to say something nonsensical, insulting, thoughtless, or unfounded, let them speak and simply use a dismissive gesture to express your disgust or distraction. Other people are likely to see that that person who can't keep calm, bully, or whine doesn't need a witty answer.
   • Practice raising an eyebrow, grinning, rolling your eyes, or using any other gesture that shows you aren't impressed.
   • Yawn and look at your watch hungrily.
   • Admittedly, this one is a bit childish: repeat exactly what was said, but in a funny voice. If you don't want to look like a cranky toddler, you may want to practice with a friend.

Method 3 of 3: Use your wit

1. Give your rebuttal in a controlled, serene, and confident way. While the content of your rebuttal matters, so does the way you pronounce it. Avoid sounding condescending or superior. Also, don't try to sound hurt or insulted, as if you framed your reaction in bitter rage.
   • Speak your witty answer clearly, quickly and confidently. With a smile in your voice and your eyes, because you have to lean towards the funnier, more humorous side to be successful with your wit.
2. Avoid swearing (or at least keep it to a minimum). Swearing is not seen as typically catchy, but rather as an impulsive expression of emotions. It can make you feel better when tension is released, but most of all you come across as immature. Nor does it achieve the goal of disproving their argument or claims.
   • However, cursing your opponent can certainly be used as a target for your wit, such as making a sharp remark or saying in a monotonous tone, "Oh, are you going to curse now? How mature," and leave it at that.
3. Lighten off the insult. It's not much different from swearing and just makes you seem jealous, overly emotional, or like you've lost your way. Insulting may seem like a great way to get rid of some of your anger and frustration, but it works far too easily in favor of your opponent and is not very funny.
   • If you do have to offend, focus on their argument and not on themselves. For example, say, "That's a strange way of looking at the situation," instead of "You're an idiot." Or try “Now I really am completely convinced of your ignorance in this area” instead of “You are so stupid”.
4. Stay away from being snobbish. A witty answer that aims to affirm your superiority or higher status is usually counterproductive, because it often happens in the way that the other person insists that "you think you are too good for me," and so on. Once you get into such a discussion, it often gets further and further out of hand.
   • Answers along the lines of “Yes, I had that same problem in school… kindergarten, I mean” can seem more or less snobbish depending on the context and how you pronounce it.
   • It's hard not to cross the fine line between wit and arrogance, but the most important factor is to preserve your sense of humor and see the insignificance of the situation.
5. Be considerate of people who take things personally. Of course, they shouldn't keep playing the victim and pretend their whole world would collapse if you just touch them, but you should take people for what they are. In some cases, it is simply unfair, unkind, and insensitive to provoke someone who argue badly with witty answers.
   • Maybe your intention is to teach such a person a lesson. But at least consider the consequences of slitting down a verbal opponent who is likely to sulk, or become depressed or angry.
   • On the other hand, if they are really annoying it might just be the lesson they need, despite their bad armor.
6. Don't hold a grudge. Be aware that verbally putting someone away will no longer give you recognition. Don't do it too often, because humiliating them is direct and alienating; make sure it is really necessary. Once it's done, you can't turn it back, and if you want to talk to someone who brought you down, be the first to offer reconciliation and make it clear that you don't hold a grudge.
   • Say something like, "I thought it was really good the way you played the ball the other day, but I didn't like your post-game attitude. I felt I had no choice but to put your bad mood in its place. I hope you like me. my direct approach forgives. "
7. Respect yourself and the other. Despite the saying “scolding doesn't hurt,” words do have the power to hurt. So make sure your words still take into account the dignity of the other. Conversely, you have to to be words don't let you touch; if you choose to get hurt, you will have a hard time resisting the verbal attacks.
   • Refuse to let the other person's words be more than just words and get on with your day knowing that you have maintained your dignity, spoken with integrity and intelligence, and respected yourself and the other]].

Tips

• Don't make it seem like you're trying too hard to come up with something smart. This is going to work in your opponent's favor, especially if they seem to react quickly.
• If you've offended someone to the point that they are speechless or take a long time to come up with something, grin, say "I thought so" or something and walk away.
• When looking for witty answers online, use terms such as "witty responses", "smart responses", "witty answers", "using wit", "offensive jokes", and so on. Keep in mind that some sites have neat and less neat comments.
• Playing the detached and uninterested party is an important element in the success of many responses; show that you are not offended by laughing, making dismissive gestures and keeping your voice calm, and thinking all the time about distracting your opponent instead of attacking. It can help to think, "Look bored and cool at the same time!"
• When someone says "shut up!" or "leave me alone" it means that you have won. Grin and say something like “I knew you would give up one day” or “Can't stand it anymore? Okay, I'll leave you alone. "
• If other people are involved in the reactions, you need to remind your opponent that it has nothing to do with anyone else.
• Don't use your responses again - use the best one once and then look for others.
• For those who don't come naturally, learn to put a smile on your face and pretend you don't care about what was just said; that's another way to kick it off and feel better right away.
• If someone is constantly complaining about something, look at them and say curtly “you will live”.
• Try to neutralize what has been said, not destroy someone's character.

Warnings

• Do not involve mother, father, siblings or Aunt Matilda in the insults unless you respond to a similar insult or want your own family members to be insulted as well.
• Too many comments make you look like a dumb parrot. Remember to keep the response short and sharp and stop attacking.